Believe it or not, I very rarely have face-to-face conversations. For the most part I have brief discussions with people as we are walking, at the same table side-by-side or sitting in a car. So, today, I had a face-to-face convo with a good friend and I was kindof surprised with how my Aspie behavior went.
Okay, so it was a bit longer than most of my talks...over an hour. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, don't get me wrong...I just had a heckuva time maintaining eye contact for even short bursts of a minute or so. I didn't feel that I was being polite by continually glancing out the window or away so i tried the "fuzzy" thinking whereby I looked in her direction but took on a "not really looking" approach.
Eye Contact...hmmm..it just seems so intrusive. Not when they are looking at me but when I am looking at someone else. I just really wasn't able to do it well today. Yeah, I surprized myself there. And I do realize that some days that social function does work better than others and it depends on who I am with but, really, I thought it would have been easier...much easier.
My second dilemma....I couldn't figure out when she was done talking or finished her sentence or thought. I mean, I am really listening, but I couldn't find the appropriate pauses or indicators that said she was done.
After interrupting her repeatedly, I noticed an interesting thing...When she was talking, after a while she would look away and continue her story. It was as if by looking away she was telling me that she was still on the same subject. Then when she did look at me, I understood that she had finished. Its almost like she, both very patient and probably tired of the incessant interrupting, was giving Me a clue.
I tell ya, I really fully watched and listened and I had no clue as to when her story was done. I watched her face very, very closely...and i looked for those pauses that were my cue.
And maybe it is partially simply her manner of speaking in such a calm, easy, not up and down tone that gave me more difficulty. Some people have lots of up and down and when the tone goes way down, its my turn.
Hmmm...I do apologize for my interrupting. I tried my best but this Aspie ain't perfect, darling. Yeah, I'm okay with that. I am so glad that I was able to have lunch with her and I hope I can read her a bit better next time :)
