Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm tired of being afraid..Swamp thing


The last couple of days, I have made 5 or 6 drafts regarding fear and none of them came to fruition...thus I try and try again.
Its like...I stand by the water, in the very deep lake and I know that a horrible, snarling monster lives there. I pick up small, smooth stones and skip them, one by one, across the water...hoping to entice this hidden, submerged beast...so it will rear its ugly, hideous head so that I may confront that which has always lived so near. How can something that i am so very well acquainted with, evade me so?
Its only when I turn my back, that it appears.
Thus I will cross my legs, sit coldly upon the moist ground and wait....
I am no stranger to this part of the forest...the very dark, dank and dense area. The lake is nothing but betrayal..I cannot even see my reflection when I peer into the waters.
It smells like a swamp...a dirty, old, fetid wasteland where things drag themselves quietly to die.
The air is charged with fear and trepidation...each step is ominous, silent and screaming. It is the place where I go when I want to scream without anyone hearing. I think that i have always lived here, quite acquainted with this place.
Fear is consuming. Fear is angry and sad. Fear keeps me from leaving the dark and searching for the light. Fear is an ankle grabber, a tripper, a dirty rotten scoundrel...sometimes I think it is all I know. Because of our long standing relationship...it is hard to say an unkind word about something that has been my constant companion...for I know not what I am without it.
Yet now it hides, like a vampire fearing the melting of the sun...for fear evaporates with warmth. It is absent when I am in the company of friends.
And still..I sit..not wanting to disturb..these still calm waters that I know so well. I'm tired.