I've often thought that for an Aspie, living alone would be the best option. Aspies typically have a very high need for privacy. It's hard to live with someone when you are a highly sensitive being that requires large amounts of quiet, rest and down time.
It's difficult to constantly conform to what others want and expect you to do. I dislike having to explain my quirks, eccentricities and aversions. I miss the autonomy of my autism. I miss the privacy and security of having a room of my own whereby I can shut my door and withdraw from the chaotic, outer world undisturbed. I require enormous time to think, process and just figure things out.
I miss being able to work on my projects, leaving them around half-done without being in someone's way and feeling pressured to clean up my mess.
Did I mention that I miss having my own room? I sleep on the couch. I have for years because the two downstairs bedrooms are occupied with occupants. The only option for a room to call mine is upstairs, up 14 stairs. Yeah, up the stairs which is impossible given my strength and energy level due to illness, so we just let sick girl rough it on the couch, in the middle of the house, the noise, the high traffic, no privacy area.
I've always felt like a guest in someone else's house.
I remember when I has a place to call my own. It was a little two bedroom apartment in a subsidized complex. It wasn't much but it was mine. It felt like I could be myself, like I was in charge, owner of my own destiny not a guest in the mansion.
Maybe my values are changing. Maybe I'm getting lost in someone else's world...or maybe I've been lost there a good long time and I'm just becoming aware of it.
Just thinking out loud
