So when my therapist said, "What happened to you as a child was heartbreaking" has context. I argued with her, at the time, that I didn't understand what she meant. Now, after today's session, I realize a number of things.
One, in recounting my story of an important intimate object that was taken from me when I was a teen, I stated, "Now That was heartbreaking" as well as the last time I ever felt the feeling sensation of love.
Two, love is a choice and back then I decided that I would never feel such heartbreak again. I chose not to feel it.
Three, Neo therapist said people feel love often on a daily basis. I was in disbelief. The look on her face was almost grave and noticeably sad. I think it's not something she's exposed to often, people like me that won't feel it. Plus, I believe she has a much better understanding of the emotional state I've been existing in.
Four, I believe that Neo genuinely wants to help us with no strings attached. She is "The One".
I need to decide...now that I have the tool of awareness and knowledge..if I'm willing to take the risk again and feel love.
Daunting...maybe most would jump at the chance. When I hurt, I hurt deeply. I know that everything, everyone will eventually leave me and I'll be hurt again.
Pondering
