Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Psychological Abuse, the healing continues

Therapy today, thank you God. I continue to grieve the torturous death of my pet rabbit and how my father forced me to participate. The body memories of the incident resided in my hands where I felt the fur, the holding down of Snowball as my dad butchered him. I know Snowball is in heaven, free of pain and put back together again.
I'm still in a physical and emotional state of exhaustion, release a 45 year old emotional cyst will do that to you. I'm always tired, my body is heavy and my emotional facilities are sluggish. I have no ambition or energy to spare so I'm getting by with performing the barest of necessities, notably caring for my son and puppy. When he's at school, I'm in bed. I sleep heavy and am grateful for no nightmares.
It's like I'm wrestling in my head, seeing the incident, feeling the helplessness, allowing myself to feel the anguish, tearful flows of grief, just trying to be okay with what happened. That's a huge memory to deal with. I can't predict how many days I'll be down but I understand the whole "lying low" & taking care of myself aspect. I'm not denying or hiding what occurred and the intense feelings that went along with it.
There was a damn good reason I never mentioned this or the sexual abuse, the incest...if my dad could, with a smile on his face and casual attitude, torture a living animal, he could surely do it to me or those I loved.
Time to sleep. Healing is truly exhausting.
Take care

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