Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

I miss my previous therapist

Sometimes A LOT. Just today I was thinking about how much I dreaded her long, long hallway walk to her office, at first. Then, it became rather welcoming, like, we'd walk down the hallway side-by-side like two equals, old friends. And I can't forget the dreaded...but friendly hallway walks whereby I wasn't able to walk without her assistance, my arm in hers as she helped my Lyme ravaged body painfully manuvuer each slow step.
Often we would chat a bit or saunter in silent communion. It was and is a pleasant set of memories.
I miss that I felt cared for and kinda special somehow. Maybe it was due to the fact that I always had her ear; I could readily get in touch with her whenever we needed her. The fact that she rarely ever took a vacation was a huge bonus. I could count on her.
This new therapist takes a month long vacation each year, in addition to multiple weeks off. It's quite a big change to navigate.
I don't like the feeling of disconnect, or the difficulty in simply trying to reach her to communicate distress. It's a gap that will never bridge. I always feel a little lost in the shuffle, definitely just another face in the crowded schedule. Sigh. Maybe that's just what normal is and my previous therapist was someone very special. You know, I really miss that. It was pretty wonderful to feel that for a few years. At the time, I had no idea that she was exemplary. I mistakenly thought all therapists were like her.
It's a monthly struggle I deal with, striving to get heard, acknowledged and communicated with. It's not going to change. A part of me will always wish present therapist had more qualities of previous one.
I struggle mightily with this issue. I really do.
I mean, maybe I'm self-centered or egotistical but I think it'd be nice to be recognized as someone a bit more than other clients. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm seeing all the crapola I've been through. I'm not the average, run-of-the-mill client...I'm really unique. I Am Special. I deserve to be treated very well. I've earned it.
In a perfect world, right?
My previous therapist was A+, and I'm seeing that more and more. I miss her. I thank her. I hope she is doing really, really, really well.