Aspergers and the Difficult Act of Talking

Shutdown is

A shutdown is when my neurochemistry is flooded due to stress or over stimulation. In response, in order to hide and heal, the body falls heavily, irrevocably into deep sleep. My breathing slows down to the point that, even though my eyes are open and I appear present, my body is if asleep.

My appetite and thirst go away. It feels like hibernation or light coma. It's unique. Surreal. And I have absolutely no control over when it will abate and I will be awake, alert and in control of my body, my life, again.

I went to a friend's house for dinner for the first time. New friend. New house. New everything for about two hours.

I came home. Walked the dog. And fell asleep for twenty hours.

That is Autistic Shutdown in a nutshell, at its finest.

Autistic Shutdown or the fear of it occurring, controls my life.

I am Aspie.

Going to the Store & Dealing with the Maddening Crowds

It's Autumn. Autism is high. Hypersensitivity is constantly teetering on overload. Managing functionality by prioritizing what needs to be done and what can wait. That decision aline is stressful.

I found myself shopping at the nearby store amidst a chaotic throng of congested aisles and coughing peoples. The way through the madness was to pretend I was alone. I imagined the others just disappeared.

It was like I put up a 6 inch shield and stepped more inside of myself. The protective, invisible cocoon allowed me to pick up and purchase the necessary items. My imagination felt strong, protective and necessary. Cause I just couldn't deal.

Too many people. Too crowded. Too much.

Done.

Staying indoors or in the wide open out of doors.

Not feeling peopley these days.

Building shields. Staying away.