Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Naivety, The Innocence of Aspergers, Autism

NAIVE: 1 unaffectedly, or sometimes foolishly, simple; childlike: unsophisticated 2 not suspicious; credulous
Syn- naive implies a genuine, innocent simplicity or lack of artificiality but sometimes connotes an almost foolish lack of worldly wisdom

So says Webster
I am naive. And I know it. One of the conundrums of Aspergers is an almost childlike innocence and way of looking at the world. I used to trust people, take them at face value, believe the words they said were literal and true...and I got hurt...a lot.
In my twenties and early thirties I found ways to protect myself and they weren't the most positive of virtues. I became suspicious, always looking for hidden meanings behind others actions. I learned to not trust what was being said because the actions rarely supported the words. I learned about masks that people wear, one for work, another for home, one for mom, one for friend.....but mostly, I learned to build walls...to separate even more from society because, quite frankly, I try and avoid pain.
I became the observer, the fly on the wall, watching, studying the words, movements and interactions around me.

Naivety is innocence. Be kind to the autistic. Remember that even though they look older, mature, grown up....sometimes they are nothing more than children trapped in adult bodies.

For the Aspie, the Auttie, be wary, but don't shut yourself off. I am physically old enough to say that there are many, many kind and caring NTs out there.
Things that helped me find the kind peoples: most NTs have patterns of behavior...if they yell and scream at their dog, they yell and scream at people; if they constantly put others down, whine a lot and are downright miserable, please, please walk away...don't try and rescue....rescuing is for the professionals, therapists, clergy; aim for hanging out with healthy people, those he are happy and content with themselves; avoid people who abuse substances and have a criminal history; don't make friends fast...take your time to get to know someone, find their patterns; trust your instincts...sometimes I meet someone for the first time and just feel like "ick" for no clear reason..I honor those inner feelings; ask someone You trust what they think about a new person you have recently meet...and listen to what they have to say.

You just have to be a little more cautious when you're Aspie. There are friendly, helpful and nice people's out there! I know, I have met many.

8 comments:

  1. That comment was very helpful. I am a 42 year old male with Asperger's and that article fit me to a T. Thank you for writing it!

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  2. Yes. Thanks, Amy, that was helpful for me to read too.

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  3. I have recently been diagnosed as Aspie. I shared this with a male Aspie friend. We both relate to it. Thankyou
    H♡x

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  4. You are most welcome. Thank you for your comment, Amy😊

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  5. Recently diagnosed with aspergers at age 45. Thanks for the wonderful post.

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  6. Thanks. This is horribly accurate. But the advice re what / who to avoid had never occurred to me before but immediately resonates as important and correct. One habit I've developed to avoid total isolation is to trust individuals to be who they are and no more eg I'll trust a work colleague to do his work well, work hard and share credit with team mates. But I won't trust him to be discreet with any personal conversations or revelations no matter how much he promises to. And eg I trust my wife to love my children and make almost any conscious self sacrifice for them. But I don't trust her not to hurt them emotionally / verbally accidentally if she is feeling strong emotions herself or very tired. I keep many more relationships intact for longer by customiaing and clearly defining my trust (to myself) with each person and I no longer blame them or think them deliberately or wholly bad for being only partly trustworthy. I also allow myself to treat each person with behaviour by myself that can freely stoop to mirror theirs if I feel inclined / if it's pragmatic without feeling any qualms.

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