Originality

It's so easy to follow the crowd, float on shallow waters and simply drift never submerging below the surface to find out who you truly are.

 It takes a brave, courageous soul to bear, to express their very soul.

Reality is

I have Aspergers

Our Moon...thinking out loud

Escaping Pain

Tips & Advice...Loneliness

 If you have Aspergers, you may have experienced much loneliness. Throughout the years, I've managed to deal with this feeling through different avenues.

 I go to therapy every week, so I'm guaranteed almost an hour of talking to someone. Plus, I try and get a hug each session. I cannot undervalue how huge it is to be able to talk to someone who listens and tries to understand And getting a real hug. I highly recommend it to all Aspies.

 I've almost always had parakeets and fish, and lots of plants. Taking care of something else gives me value and a reason to get up in the morning.

 Pursue your special interests vigorously. If you enjoy reading dictionaries, studying history, science, cataloging and organizing coins, stamps, bottle caps, cards, do it. I've had periods of time where I've researched genealogy, various islands and countries, studied moss & terrariums, created specialized facebook pages, spent time coloring...too many interests to name.

 Write. Write in a diary, journal, create a blog, compose poems, make videos...communicate outside of yourself. You'll feel less stuffy on the inside.

 Connect with other Aspies via the Internet or support groups. It's good to know that what you feel and are experiencing others feel, too.

  Be kind to yourself.

Close minded People

Who are you...an incest survivor

I'm so proud of myself.

This post moves me to tears. Brutal honesty.

Tell one person, a friend, doctor, call a rape crisis or mental health helpline, write it down on paper, talk to a pastor or counselor.

 Together, when we each can find our voice, our strength, we can help to heal each other and put a stop to child sexual abuse.

Goodbye Shadow

and say hi to Kato for me up in heaven

Insomnia

More Walking & Living with Lyme

Ah, yet another post on my trials with Lyme. Seems the inability to walk well weighs heavily upon my mind. I'm reminded of it Everytime I want to get up and do something. I continue to have pain in my feet and lower legs. Must be neuralgia, nerve pain as the standard pain meds don't touch it.

 I've thought about seeing a neurologist but the biggest problem would actually be trying to walk to the car, drive there and walk in. What a conundrum!

 I'm going to ask someone to bring me an office chair on rollers, from another floor of the house. I'm not sure if that will help my legs or put undo stress on my arms. If I use a chair, will my arms start to experience the pain, stiffness and weakness like my legs? Or are my symptoms only leg related?

 I'm working on getting that handicapped card for my car. And I'm not too proud or embarrassed to use an electric chair if I need to go to the store.

 What would appear worse...me slowly staggering through the store or using a wheelchair? I'm going for the helpful electric cart.

 And what would happen...if I simply cannot stand at all? I don't know if my knees would buckle or my body would just fall.

 Worse today than yesterday but yesterday I took my son to his appointment with a fair amount of walking and standing. 

 Today, I've done better. No extraneous events outside the house and only the basics inside. I need as much horizontal time as possible. 

 I have a helper coming over tomorrow. She will assist in my getting things picked up, cleaned and has even agreed to cook a warm, hearty meal😊 Yes, that definitely makes me happy!

  I watched a couple videos on Lymies have trouble walking. I don't feel so bad. The stiff walk is exactly like mine. I even found one whereby the woman said that she was walking just like she did as a child, stooped and feet turned in. She said she was born with hip dysplasia....as was I! Ironic.

 Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up better, worse or the same. I honestly have no way of knowing. Judging by previous episodes, this one may take 2-4 weeks to get into remission, normalacy. 

  I'm either very sick and sliding downhill or very much in a healing crisis and getting ready to climb. I can't tell which but I'm leaning toward the latter.

 My legs feel less like my own, less in my control. Hoping that a couple solid days of rest will help.

 I spend time watching old movies, plotting my next venture into getting off the couch so that I get everything done in one trip. The less I'm up, the better I feel. 

  My head is still clear which is an excellent sign and I'm sleeping and eating pretty normal. It just seems to be the leg motor movement that's an issue.

 We will see what tomorrow brings.

I was sexually abused, raped

Reality

Inertia....poetry without motion

She was a tangled knot

Searching for a dream

Alone is Safe

Let the door hit them in the ass

I wonder

Who am I