Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Sunday, August 16, 2015

My Own World, Understanding, Meeting Someone Else with Aspergers

The other day, I ran into another person with Aspergers. It's a rarity, living in this small town and me, being the good recluse I am, have very little interaction with people. I shook his hand...and I figured it out.
My friend's touch felt the same as mine, and the same as every other Autistic I had ever met.
My little cousin, only recently diagnosed, had hugged me for the first time when I saw him a few years ago. And it was different, and I didn't know why...then.
Now I see, my eyes are open, Aspies all have a...sincerity, a lack of an invisible, specific boundary...a hardness, a rim, an extra layer of skin, a thin indistinguishable armor, that non-autistics all wear.
I felt it. I feel it as I think back to the few Aspergians that I have touched or hugged. It's as if we are all branches of the exact same tree, regardless of gender or age.
It's like touching a whisper, an innocence, like we wear our souls on our sleeves. No wonder we are intense and so extra sensory.
Then I think of the extreme few non-autistics, the neuro-typicals that I have come in contact with...they all have that very same armor and hardness on their skin.
I have two sons, one Aspie and one NT...yes, very different. It's like when I hugged or touched my Aspie son, we melted, we understood without words. My NT son requires many words, kisses and hugs to feel how much I love him, as he has that barrier to get through.
Two Aspies can connect in a way that an Aspie and an NT just cannot.
Trying to find the words. This feels profound, like I discovered the magical elixir, the golden key, the solution to an ongoing riddle.
I've found out more about me, other Aspies and why we connect so easily. Why we are like, a separate species or race or culture onto ourselves. We are a subset. It's like our blood runs through each others veins...sorry if that sounds gross. It's not literal.
  Tonight, I watched the movie, The Giver...and it was like Aspies in an NT world played out on the screen.
My head is swimming with erratic, multi-finned thoughts, all gyrating at altering speeds.
Yeah, something clicked.
If I were to be honest, there will always be a part of me that dreams of living in a community where everyone is autistic, because, Let Me Tell You, it would be an extremely different environment.
People would talk less and more softly. Emotions would be freely expressed, shared and understood. There would be, not laws, but standards everyone agreed with. Outrageous attire would be highly tolerated.
God, it would be so less scary living.
The grocery store would be small, so you can run in and out. The hair dressers and shop keepers, heck everyone would abstain from small talk. There would be think tanks, committees and groups that catered to solving problems and improving conditions. There would be dozens of small, specialized groups where people could share their obscure fascinations and interests.
The library would be ginormous, as well as parks and playgrounds.
See, one of the weird things about Aspies is that we rarely lie, having a high sense of moral conduct and believing  in equality.
In this NT driven world, we get stepped on, nay, trampled due to our deep emotions and inherent naivety.
Maybe that's one thing that this blog accomplishes....letting others know how difficult life is, how regularly painful and upsetting every day is.
We are Autistic.
We are different.
We are great.
It's like we really are...all members of the same tribe.

4 comments:

  1. Its interesting that you mention that in a community of people with autism, emotions would be expressed more freely. Many people still think people with autism do not feel emotions or empathy. Yet when we do show our emotions, they are the ones telling us to calm down, act like an adult, etc!

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  2. Exactly, Angel. And all our lives we've been told we were being over dramatic or emotionally inappropriate, so we learn to stop showing how we really feel, in order to conform and not be ridiculed. Our honesty is too much for them to handle.

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  3. Exactly, Angel. And all our lives we've been told we were being over dramatic or emotionally inappropriate, so we learn to stop showing how we really feel, in order to conform and not be ridiculed. Our honesty is too much for them to handle.

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  4. "Maybe that's one thing that this blog accomplishes....letting others know how difficult life is, how regularly painful and upsetting every day is." I wish I could understand what it feels like to have Aspergers. I feel the only thing I can do to support my friend with Aspergers is to leave him alone. I don't want to do this but I don't want to make him feel worse than he already does, even though I care deeply for him. I don't know how to be there for him without adding more confusion, stress, or pain to his life. I work with him so I will continue to see him and just leave him alone unless he asserts himself. You see I have tried to assert myself in his life without knowing how he has been feeling. I must have been causing him so much stress. Also, I was a special education teacher so I know he has Aspergers, but he has never confirmed to me. So I cannot ask him or talk to him about it without him feeling invasion of privacy. I only recently started researching Aspergers in order to understand. Any advice?

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