It's a struggle. This sinus infection is causing widespread lethargy, aches and pains, moodiness and frequent sleep. Round two of antibiotics started yesterday.
Met my new doctor for the second time. I think I like her as a human. She doesn't seem as robotic and distant as at our first encounter. However, there are these inane list of rules that I signed to get my anti-anxiety meds. A three page retort that I neglected to read when first handed to me. My high ethical standards cringed and broke down into tears when I thoroughly read this "contract" whereby I agreed to bring my meds in every month for a count; agreed to only one month at a time; agreed to possible drug testing..the list goes on. My fragile sensibilities and unwillingness to give up my dignity will probably prompt me to rescind this toilet paper and go without meds rather than denigrate myself by monthly med count checks. I'm appalled and outraged that, once again, those in need are forced to lower themselves to get their most basic of human needs met. Sad. And a fight I will not win. Another no win situation, akin to the recently receive heating bill that cannot be paid because rates doubled from last month. No win.
I am quite sad.
I realize I need to adjust my lifestyle to the barest of bones, as it's still a mighty step up from living in the emotionally, caring less living I endured six months ago.
I'm wagering whether or not my son will summer away from me. I explained clearly that this is home now and he needs to fully understand that I am his parent and my wishes and whims are law. If he fails to understand this, he will not travel.
Having full knowledge of the deceit, lies and manipulation of Guy the dick, I'm not at all comfortable with son being in the presence of such a sometime cruel, lying influence. Lots to contemplate.
