New Painting!!!

Title: The Artist as a human
12" x 12" acrylic on wood

Sometimes I feel like an insolent child

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. It went like this.
Me: I need to be more grounded.
Friend: Lay down in the grass
Me: (on the inside...ICK) the last time I did that I picked up a tick. Lyme disease sucks.
Friend: Go barefoot
Me: (Ick) tried that...sensory overload.
Friend: go barefoot at home
Me: (hesitantly. OMG, she wants me to break routine and try something new.) I might be able to do that.
I felt like a disagreeable child who just poo-pooed anything that wasn't my own idea. Lol. Explaining my Autism is the only way others will understand. I don't mind.

Food Allergies and Sensitivities, Autism and Me

As I was walking through the farmer's market with my friend, I kept pointing out all the foods that I can't eat. It got me thinking, as the list has grown rather large.
Here's the current list of  not tolerated foods:
Soy
Gluten
Garlic
Eggs!!! (Boy, do I miss scrambled eggs, egg on toast and egg salad. Yikes!!!!)
Non-Organic fruits and vegetables(the chemical Sulfa is frequently sprayed on fruit. Sulfa is my most dangerous allergie as it could kill me, hence the caution.)
Asparagus- causes kidney stones
I guess the list isn't too long. It just encompasses a large variety of foods.
My friend asked me if I ever got bored on such a limited diet.
To the contrary, it makes my life significantly easier. There are less choices for me to stress over. I rather like having a short, specific menu.
I don't care to cook. First off, cooking on the stove requires great concentration and is probably the most dangerous activity. I can't tell you how many times I've been burned or scalded. Sure, they are usually just physically small injuries but I am quite hypersensitive to pain and they pretty much shock and disrupt my system. The less cooking, the better for me.
I don't have much patience. I'm very ADD and the energy it takes to focus is a hardship.
Quite frankly, there are a dozen different things I'd rather be doing than slaving over a stove. Not to mention the ensuing stack of dishes that would need doing.
I like it when my trips to the grocstore are as quick as possible.
This while storing food, figuring out how much I'll eat in a day or two perplexed me.
For some reason I'm unable to stomach foods that have been in the freezer. I don't know if it's because it tastes and looks different or if it's because I have to figure out how to thaw and defrost it.
I seriously do not like sitting at the family dinner table and eating in front of anyone. I don't need anyone to critique my food, my choice of silverware or how and what I eat. Ugh.
Life isn't easy.
Managing food isn't easy.
Finding safe foods is always good.
Not a lot of food truly tastes good to me.
It's just how I am.

Art and Aspergers

A painting of what it looks like on the inside.
"Meanwhile...on the interior"
2' x 2' acrylic on plywood

Painting Happiness

I chose the four images that brought me happiness when I was a child.

How it feels

I don't always have words for how I am feeling in the inside, but I often get an image that shows me how I feel.
I painted this....it Is how I am feeling

Pretty hopeless and depressed

Dealing with another exhaustion shutdown from our trip to Portland yesterday. Another big stress trip this weekend.
Therapist moved my appointment time to a busy office time. Now I feel like another simple clog in a wheel. It's her job. Just another peon.
Therapist is like all the others. Nothing special. Just a stranger from another world to talk to. I guess. Not interested.
Working to save money for a trip later this year.
Found out my food stamps were reduced by 30% a few months back. Explains the grocery bill.
Family issues unable to share that can't ever really be resolved. It's like an ongoing crisis.
The police may show up at my door for an interview. Can't talk about it. Might happen, might not. On high alert. Unpredictable.
Less and less can I accomplish as the shutdowns and exhaustion seems to grow, not improve with age.
Seriously searching for ways to reduce any and all social interaction. It's majorly confusing and highly upsetting.
Things just aren't going right, in a big way.
Wish something was easy.
Wish life didn't hurt so much.
Tired of the constant tears.