Days in Bed, wondering why I'm here

This past weekend I was happy, productive and full of energy and optimism.
After Monday's therapy it seems I've fallen into that old slump of unanswerable questions and chronic fatigue. I've been in bed for these two days. Can't seem to eat or drink much. I'm sleeping mostly. When I'm awake I'm just drifting away.
I don't know what to do with myself. I've become expert at isolation and my secret wish is just to pass in my sleep.
I have no purpose and can't figure out a reason to get up. For decades, I've questioned the meaning of my life and I'm no closer to an answer in this fifth decade of existence.
Why am I here? Is a haunting, hopeless question that has plagued me ever since my escape from the family of dysfunction, torture and lies.
Growing up, all my energy and effort, every waking thought and cohesive nightmare was propelling me to survive and figure out the strategies necessary to live through a nother day.
I don't know what to think or where to focus. I see no reason to try and get up or interact in a world that doesn't know my name. I don't know what to do. What drives people to function? Money, mostly I guess. Eating, drinking, going places.
I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why i should even try and get up. What's the reason? The motive? What's the goal after the war is over?
My head is empty.
I'm just existing, again, still