I've had this theory that every Aspie needs at least one outside person who is an anchor.
Throughout my life, it's been a mixed bag. Sometimes I had an anchor, many times not. An anchor is probably the greatest...resource and assistance for an autistic to navigate the challenges of everyday life and functionality.
Autistics without any anchor...well, it makes me very sad...you know, seeing them flounder in the raging waters, hiding in closets, self-abusing, you get the picture. I call anchorless autistics "Orphan Aspies". It's oft a confusing, needy, unsure way to live.
I know, my words contine to befuddle me and come out kinda tilted.
An Orphan Aspie is sometimes...directionless, chasing red herrings and unable to focus. Like that damn inner compass that NTs are gifted with is completely missing. It's hard to figure out the big things from the little things.
I consider myself...somewhat adrift, these days. I think I have a partial rudder and the steering works on some days.
I used to have.....a few reliable anchors. Lately, in this storm of chaos, I barely have one, maybe.
I've been turning more from the people anchors to item anchors, as they seem more hardy and trustworthy. Things never let you down, don't talk back and can't ignore you. Yeah, they hurt less right now.
My bio family has fallen away, again. And I can't fathom ever seeing or being near any of them again. Friends have retreated into autumn and warm fires at the hearth. Those who I used to...count on...fell down, got busy, turned away. So be it. I ant sit and whine. Everyone has to live their own life.
I do consider myself to be in a...better place whilst half-anchored. I don't think this rope will break as I'm tossed to and for. Complaining, whining, really doesn't get one anywhere and serves little purpose.
It's just the way it is. I'm fine.
No comments:
Post a Comment