Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Polite isn't always right

Sometimes my autism and delay in verbal processing makes me feel stupid and defenseless. I had a meeting at Younglinks school and the notice said four other school personnel would be attending. I looked over the paper, noting which parties I was familiar with and the one wild card, and mentally prepared my self.

When I showed up for the meeting, I was quickly introduced to Stranger #1 and asked, no, told that she would be attending.
Then as the other attendees arrived, someone invited Known Uninvitee #2. Now I was screwed.
In the first place, had I not been so darn polite, I would have quickly asked Stranger #1 to please leave. But, since the thought of humiliating someone so, goes against everything I believe in, I let it ride. I could have easily requested that Known Invitee leave as well. But no.


My only response to these unknown variables was typical....I shut down. I only spoke when necessary and spent most of my time staring out the window, wishing I had some control over this unforeseen mess and desperately wishing I could be somewhere else.
It wasn't until late that evening that all the delayed emotions surfaced. I was pissed at the meeting chairperson, who Knows I am autistic and does not adjust well to sudden, unpredictable changes and complete strangers. I felt she betrayed me and was disrespectful in her oversight. Yes, I'm still miffed about that one.
Secondly, I was mad at myself. Damned upset at the helpless feeling of being in an uncontrollable situation which I could not change. I felt Ambushed and bushwhacked. Had I not been polite, not autistic, and with a hint of self esteem, I would have requested a recess and a re "grouping".
The following morning, today, I contacted the meeting chairperson for a private meeting where I vented and stated my feelings. I was...am so insulted. I know the world is by its very nature unpredictable, but I expect respect, especially...if Only from those people that are Aware of what makes me uncomfortable And distressed!
Yeah, I'm still pissed.
Meeting chair took full responsibility for the "oversight" and apologized. She quickly understood her err.
At first, I thought I was making a big thing from a little thing, but no.....this is how I feel and it is justified.
Just another thing, another situation to be mentally prepared for when the next meeting comes due. Dammit

3 comments:

  1. I wouldn't have had the nerve to stand up for myself, even the next day. I probably would have just seethed with rage and self loathing as is my wont. Good job, Amy!

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  2. Thanks Penny! I may be slow but I do learn.
    I miss following your exploits on Facebook. Had to quit it for family and too much bullshit reasons. I got tired of pretending I cared about other peoples piddley shit, as I only care about my own piddley shit..LOL. Mostly dysfunctional family, crazed maniac avoidance.
    I Do Miss following your exploits! Are ya well? :) Amy

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  3. All is well. I'm going through some shit that I can't talk about on Facebook or really anywhere because I am sort of leading a double life in a few aspects. But I quit smoking! So in spite of feeling depressed and awful about that I am also kind of proud. Maybe I'll dust off my blog and try and post. Let's not lose touch, okay?

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