Lately, with the decrease in energy due to illness and a dramatic uptick in necessary activity, I'm beginning to remember why I used to just go with the flow, push myself to do unpleasant things and keep my mouth shut.
Its proving that explaining myself as to why a relatively easy NT task, like going to this place or making this phone call or addressing this problem, is more work than the struggle and stress of meeting others expectations.
I'm barely functioning and bordering on overwhelm yet I'm tired of all the thought and words that go into my explanation of why simple tasks are so difficult. Sorry, the words don't flow smoothly at the moment.
I do remember why I spent years not saying anything about the discomfort and distress I endure on a regular basis.
Maybe it's just my current predicament that is coloring my thinking. Sigh.
I guess I'm just starting that knowing the reasons for my daily challenges, autism, DID, and CPTSD makes me more inclined to defend myself in verbal ways and its wearing me down.
I'm doing my best. I know that. I just need to believe it more.
Its proving that explaining myself as to why a relatively easy NT task, like going to this place or making this phone call or addressing this problem, is more work than the struggle and stress of meeting others expectations.
I'm barely functioning and bordering on overwhelm yet I'm tired of all the thought and words that go into my explanation of why simple tasks are so difficult. Sorry, the words don't flow smoothly at the moment.
I do remember why I spent years not saying anything about the discomfort and distress I endure on a regular basis.
Maybe it's just my current predicament that is coloring my thinking. Sigh.
I guess I'm just starting that knowing the reasons for my daily challenges, autism, DID, and CPTSD makes me more inclined to defend myself in verbal ways and its wearing me down.
I'm doing my best. I know that. I just need to believe it more.
