Blurting, saying things loudly and unintentionally

 

Blurting – to utter abruptly and impulsively; to say something suddenly and without thinking, usually because you are excited or nervous. Blurting is an uncontrollable reaction that I get, in which I say things out loud that I normally would prefer to keep to myself.

Case in point, for example, my family doctor was unpleasantly telling me that I had limits as to how long I could be on a certain medication that works wonders for me. Instead of a couple of adults discussing that, I turned into a petulant child and could not refrain myself from saying thins like, “I don’t like you”; “I find this conversation and this topic very unpleasant, unpleasant, unpleasant”; “I want you to stop talking about this…please stop talking about this.” I said many things in an angry tone of voice because I was starting to Meltdown and I was upset about the topic. Basically, I was Melting Down and I was mandatorily required to continue to sit in that unpleasant office and have that upsetting conversation, no matter what mean or disagreeable words this person insisted on speaking about. An Autistic without an Out, like out of the room, or out of doors, or the option to bolt for safety Will Probably Meltdown if overloaded. Yes, I was trapped and my blurting of phrases was the only option I had.

When I was finally released and she had stopped talking and I could run top my car, I proceeded to call her many, many terrible names as I banged my head and swore loudly within the confines and safety of my own vehicle.

Blurting is different than just talking to myself. I, like most people who routinely talk to themselves, often do so to help remind or remember things. Often it is done in small or soft voice as opposed to loud for all to hear.

While I have always talked to myself, blurting is something new that I have noticed only within the past couple of years. It feels more like an uncontrollable tic as opposed to a minor verbal disturbance. Like my other tics, I try and find places to blurt where others cannot hear me whenever possible. Blurting happens and sometimes accompanies a Meltdown.