Abuse No More, validating, helpful online resource.
There was a time, for decades, when I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn't even admit to myself, that my father had sexually abused me for years. I wouldn't dare talk about it to anyone. I was sure they wouldn't believe me, or worse yet, they would blame me and say it was all my fault.
Let me tell you, no child asks to be molested. No child is provocative to cause child rape. No child deserves sexual abuse as a punishment for being "bad". It is Always the fault of the adult. The adult is always the one in charge who makes the child feel they deserve to be raped. The adult is the warped criminal mind who grooms and trains innocent children into thinking sexual abuse is "normal", secretive and all the child's fault. Children believe and trust their parents. There are many bad, cruel, twisted and sick parents out there.
There are mothers who blame their five year old daughters for being molested by their husbands. There are mothers who look away and deny it is happening, even when they walk in on their husbands, boyfriends, sexually touching their daughters or sons. Mothers look away and take a stroll into deep, dimwitted denial.
Incest can be generational. My father was sexually abused by someone in his family, so he knew full well how to commit the hideous acts. He knew how to train and bribe children. He learned how to make children's bodies respond in enough "pleasant" ways that they would semi "voluntarily" think it was their ideas. Like small child would automatically want to give and receive oral or anal sex. Perpetrators know how to train, delude and poison the minds of small, innocent children.
I cannot remain silent. I cannot afford to. To deny my truth, to the detriment of all who loved and adored my father...he wasn't all bad....he could be kind and caring.....how do you measure a man who was 90% good and 10% child rapist? Does the good outweigh the bad?
If I remain silent, I carry the guilt, shame and blame. If I remain quiet, the thousands of other victims, who have yet to find their voice, will not know that it is safe, healthy and validating to speak out.
Make no mistake...I speak my truth for Me, first and foremost. I have lived within the pit of shame and embarrassment, believing I caused my sexual abuse. I speak to release my chains first. Because only then, am I free to help others. The thousands of others living in fear, shame and locked into their victimization.
ISUVA, an excellent online group!
Each and everyone of us has power over our lives as adults, now that we have lived through the degrading trauma of being molested children. We have the ability to take back our lives and to help others in the process. Child Sexual Abuse and Incest Will Contine Until Enough of Us Cry, Scream STOP!!! It's only with our truth, our experiences, our courage and strength that we can put a dent in this ongoing evil.
Secrets make us sick. Repressed emotions are like toxic cysts. You think you are alone, you were made to feel alone and that no one would believe you and that it was all your fault And Those Were Lies!! Stop believing the lies of adults who rape and molest children.
I have discovered 10 steps to healing.
Take back your life! You are not alone! Join with others who are working on healing themselves and putting an end to the rape and abuse of children.
Find your voice. Admit your truth. I believe you. I know what you've been through. I know how bad and scary it feels. You no longer have to carry such pain inside. You never deserved to be hurt...you don't deserve to continue to hurt. It's okay now. It's okay to talk about it. End the silent shame. You can do this.
