Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Friday, March 21, 2014

I don't like to talk about myself

As long as I can remember, I've been an intensely private person. I think it's inherent, not directly related to my abusive past or autistic nature. Maybe that's one reason it stymies me that anyone would think I'd speak of all the abuse for selfish needs or want of being in the spotlight. I'm really good at shying away from attention and the limelight, living a semi-content, quiet life in a little, pleasant town. Just a respectable, kind person who keeps to herself and rarely has an unkind word to say about anyone.
  It's been quite a struggle being so introverted and twice thrust into the public eye. My youngest, with the obvious physical disability attracts attention everyday, wherever we go. It's just a given. My other child, well, that was a front page spectacle for months...effects still linger in people's eyes, wayward glances and thinly veiled questions.
  Me, I'm the epitome of contradiction between how and where I find peace and solace, versus the recent events in my life this past decade. I am non sense.
 I'm calling, yet more...scrutiny and attention to myself by publicly stating the irrevocable and, hmm, explosive truths of my early years. I go rogue public because it helps me heal and allows others to know its okay and healthy to freely reveal childhood sexual abuses. I break down barriers, taboos, walls, in hopes of helping victims past, present and future. It is the only way. Logic, and the overall ability to help others negates my desire for quiet solitude.
 I don't call names or point fingers unless absolutely necessary, unless I can help spare someone a fraction of the pain I endure.
I can define evil: the conscious willingness and effort to inflict harm, pain and suffering onto someone unable to escape, fight back or who is helpless. I know of evil. Adults, with full knowledge of their faculties, seductively, secretly, enlist children, their own or someone else's, and perpetrate sexual acts of fondling, molestation, sodomy and rape, every day of every week, of every years, thousands of times every single month. It will always be "okay" to rape children and commit incest, until we stand up and shout, "No More!" What happened to me was not okay. I will speak out Loudly.
  Keep it secret and this scourge against children will continue, proliferate in the secrecy and the "it didn't happen to me. I don't want to rock this family boat."
 Do you have any idea how much it pains me have to continually shout!! When I'd love nothing more than a soft bed, a hug and whispers of be left alone. But no, my father via his child molesting crimes and mother in her ignorant, ridiculous denial, propel me to continually live out loud, speaking publicly, way outside of what I had dreamed and imagined for myself.
 You can call me a warrior, a rebel, a rogue, but I don't claim such titles with any sense of ease. It's more of duty, obligation and humanity. I'm not out to defame or slander anyone, but if I 100% know you committed a crime, many crimes, against children no less, I will publicly, vehemently, most loudly call you out on it. Do not blame the children, the innocent, naive, trusting children for the evil perpetrated on them by adults.
  Do not carry the shame, blame and displaced guilt. Keep not the secret torment locked away inside. All child Abusers need to be held accountable for their crimes, accepting responsibility for their deliberate actions. They need jail time, counseling and to be locked away to protect society.
 I wish I coud be an intensly, private person....circumstances dictate that I must help others and heal myself.
 Be well.

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