Thursday, March 7, 2013

Leaving Reality, Being Multi Directional, Aspergers and Abuse

I spend a fair amount of time leaving reality. Until recently, I didn't realize that I have spent my life "leaving" in two different directions.
I dissociate, I leave my body in an outward direction And I'm autistic retreating inward. Dissociate Out, Autistic In. Obviously, I am either very talented or very confused or just very messed up.
Talk about push me, pull me.


I've been more in touch with my inner world. It's reallyreally nice there. I pretty much question and rebel at anything outside of my self. Seems I find what I need within. The peace, comfort and lack of stress is phenomenal and unmatched anywhere else. It's kinda the natural state I was born into and equipped to deal with. We all have natural gifts and abilities, special places and special people we are at ease with. I'm finding my comfort zone.
I think I'm just reveling in this new found small and personal arena. At some point I'll look for more balance between being involved in the outside and finding comfort within. Helluva trade off. It's a no-brainer.

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