I have never been a fan of holidays. Here's the breakdown of the pros and cons of each.
Holidays- a designated day of the year whereby most people do not work, those that work get extra money (holiday pay), and it is generally a time for family get togethers, merriment, and such.
I deplore holidays and choose not to celebrate anything other than my birthday. The mere term “family get together” conjures up dark images of gift giving, drunkenness, and the tormenting of children. My family was seriously broke; I get that.
In addition to false merriment, holidays can be crowded and loud events whereby a number of accepted social norms, hugs, eating, listening, partaking in games and ritual, etc., can be unpleasant for those of us on the Spectrum. A room full of festive talking, celebratory greetings, and oodles of noninterest chatter, is not a place I ever want to be, if given the choice.
The commercialization of holidays borders on mild insanity. I longingly remember when holidays meant no school and double pay at the nursing home job. These days, a holiday is just another day at home, hopefully with a football game on, or a good movie.
A brief breakdown of holidays, their pros and cons:
New Year’s Eve- the last day of the year; in the modern Western calendar, December 31. Typically, people gather and celebrate on this day. Tradition dictates one should stay up until the New Year. At midnight, people tend to celebrate by drinking, gathering together and couples or family members may choose to kiss, and there is loud shouting of “Happy New Year”.
The pros-This is an optional holiday, typically one can easily get away with not choosing to celebrate.
The cons- People tend to gather in small to large groups, sometimes in public places, bars or parties. Often at least one person is drunk and disorderly. People are unpredictable when drinking. There tends to be a good deal of shouting, noisemakers, merriment that is loud.
Valentine’s Day- is celebrated on February 14th, a day when it is traditional to send a card or gift to a person one is romantically involved with or attracted to. Couples typically get together to exchange gifts, go out together, attend a movie, or have a romantic dinner together.
The pros- I can’t think of any.
The cons- People who are single often feel lonelier on this holiday. Societal pressure says that humans should be coupled and VD day intensifies that. Aspies may or may not have a significant other. I rarely have ever had a “date” or romantic partner to celebrate with. I have been known to feel more depressed and isolated on this day. I have been known to feel jealousy seeing couples happily getting along. I want what they have but seem clueless as to how to get that, a romantic relationship. It is a bummer for singles, a boon for couples.
April Fool’s Day- is celebrated on April 1st. Traditionally, people concoct harmless and simple, or elaborate and bordering on criminal, pranks, tricks, or jokes to play on others. Interesting fact, 18% of Americans affirm that they have a family tradition of pranking one another on April Fool’s Day.
The pros- if you enjoy devising pranks, it is legitimate to use this day to commit them.
The cons- Where do I start? A day in which the usual, predictable routines of one’s day may be interrupted, at any point, by an unforeseen surprise. A day whereby it is acceptable to lie and deceive under pretext of fooling. I have learned to stay away from all social media on this day as I have had “friends” lie about any number of things from being pregnant to moving to changing jobs to getting a divorce. In my naivety, I readily believed them. I did not find any of it amusing or fun. This is one day I avoid and stay indoors and off the internet. This ties with Halloween as the two most dreaded and unpredictable of holidays.
Easter- the most important and oldest festival of the Christian Church, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In the western Church it is celebrated between March 21 and April 25, on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the northern spring equinox.
The pros- Candy. Sometimes cake, too.
The cons- Mandatory family gathering, often large and extended family, you know, those people you only ever see at Christmas. Easter and Christmas are the two compulsory family gatherings with the most people involved, typically. May include other one-day a year, obligations such as attending religious services, dressing up in unfamiliar, more formal clothing, and the boiling and decorating of eggs, which may be a pro for some. Dinner table distress wherein others may comment on your limited food choices or how you sit wrong or make comments about how you eat. Some holidays you can readily sneak away from or avoid. This is not one of those in that it is quite mandatory that one must attend.
Memorial Day- a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May. I really like the idea and spirit of this holiday. It seems worthwhile.
I always confuse Memorial Day with Labor Day even though the meaning of both is considerably different. Maybe it because they are both celebrated on Mondays and they are not Christmas or Easter.
The pros- There are no set rules for this holiday. Not necessarily mandatory to observe especially if you do not know anyone who has served in the military. If celebrated with a family gathering, frequently taking place out-of-doors or in wide open spaces. Another pro is that they have banned “lawn darts”, those previously injury causing “toys” that were basically sharp, pointed projectiles capable of causing great harm. Lawn darts were banned December 19,1988 after thousands of injuries and at least a few deaths. Oh my, nothing more dangerous than drinking relatives allowed to throw lethal weapons with small children around.
The cons- Often a picnicy, family gathering event with the loud, drunken relatives who barbecue and grill. Strange food. Compulsory interacting with relatives or family friends through outdoor games, croquet, badminton, horseshoes, BB gun target practice, etc. and just plain having to talk with them.
Independence Day- also called the Fourth of July, a day celebrating the anniversary of national independence in the United States.
The pros- Fireworks.
The cons- Fireworks. Sparklers. I do not understand how people can hold the fire-flicking, small burn initiating sparklers. I mean, my arms are not long enough and no matter how hard I try, those small burning flecks hurt wherever they touched on my upper extremities. I do not understand how children and adults can tolerate sparklers. And they are a Big thing. It was a Big event and many sparklers were always bought. I was the odd child in that I tried to avoid the adults thrusting sulfur sticks into my hand and lighting them on fire.
Firework shows at nighttime were pretty mandatory. Large groups of people gathered with blankets to sit on at a park or lakeside to watch firework displays. These events were crowded. The actual fireworks were nice to look at. There were always loud bangs, loud sounds and noises that would accompany certain fireworks. I never knew when enjoying watching the pretty sparkly colored specks in the sky would turn to cover my ears in fright because of loud noises within the firework. I hated all the wait time between getting to the park and waiting for it to get dark.
During the day, frequently there were those darn mandatory family picnics with the relatives and family friends, again. Not a favorite holiday but it being in summer and outside, it wasn’t as annoying and painful as some.
Labor Day- a public holiday or day of festivities held in honor of working people, in the United States and Canada on the first Monday in September, in many other countries in May 1st.
This is a holiday that I don’t fully understand.
The pros- I can’t think of any
The cons- see Memorial Day.
Halloween- the night of October 31, the eve of All Saints’ Day, commonly celebrated by children who dress in costume and go door-to-door asking for candy.
The pros- Candy. The opportunity to dress in a completely different way, if one chooses.
The cons- Strangers, hidden in costumes that are given permission to knock on my door and ask for stuff. People walking around, or working, and being allowed to wear costumes. Some outfits are frightening and disturbing. Some young people may choose to play tricks. Manners and Predictability go out the window. I do not like it when people cover their face in disguise. People can surprise and frighten with startling moves, and it is okay. The scary of others is acceptable and even encouraged on this day.
As a child, it was mandatory to pick out a costume, wear it, and knock-on stranger’s doors. This made me greatly uncomfortable. I’m grateful to be an adult who can ignore this holiday and its unpleasant rituals.
Thanksgiving- an annual national holiday marked by religious observances and a traditional meal including turkey. The holiday commemorates a harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621 and is held in the United States on the fourth Thursday in November.
The pros- lots of food to choose from, often involving pies and cake.
The cons- yet another large family gathering of drunken relatives, family friends, and second cousins you only ever see at Christmas. The big dining room table troubles of others making unkind remarks about your eating habits and mannerisms. Mandatory, difficult to find an excuse to not attend. Usually confined to cramped indoors due to winter cold weather.
Christmas- the annual Christian festival celebrating Christ’s birth, held on December 25th in the Western Church. It typically involves the gathering of family and friends along with food and the exchanging of gifts.
The pros- Presents
The cons- having to buy presents for others, often this is mandatory; see also Gifts. The most compulsory and typically the largest family get together with all the traditional trappings and cons of sizeable gatherings. I consider this the most distressing and overwhelming of holidays. I loved getting presents as a child but buying presents as an adult was fraught with great frustration and dismay. Some families, such as mine, also had required worship services at the local church. These services were usually crowded, stuffy, claustrophobic, and long-winded.
I did feel like the odd man out, the weird one because everyone else seemed to anticipate and look forward to Christmas. I did not.
Birthdays- the anniversary of the day on which a person was born, typically treated as an occasion for celebration and the giving of gifts.
This was my favorite celebration, my birthday. The receiving of gifts without having to reciprocate was fantastic. It was the only day that was devoted to me.
The pros- Gifts and Cake.
The cons- sometimes a family gathering which could be small or large.
I am set apart from most people in that I do not think highly or enjoy the majority of holidays.
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