Saturday, October 7, 2023

Notes to self

I keep trying the same thing and get the same result, mildly disastrous. Stop it, please.
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When I was young, I thought the ideal job would be to be able to touch people and heal them. I did that, in a way. I trained as a certified massage therapist and was really good at it until I couldn't work anymore.
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God loves me even if I do not do any work. I have value even without having a job, working on myself, or doing productive chores.
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There's this thing called Unconditional Love that I seek to find. No strings.
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I do not understand why people fly kites. Heck, I fail to understand the reason kites exist. 
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I can't help but wonder if my dad had been better at holding a job if he still would have sold me for money to those men.
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I am grateful for good food that tastes good. 
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I realize the idea of having neurotypical friends is impossible and ridiculous. I have chosen to no longer pursue that option.
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I will slightly be on the lookout for my people, fellow Aspies. I could benefit from having a nother of my kind to interact with sporadically. 
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I had a friend once who knew a lot about Autism. The friendship didn't last but she was a raging alcoholic so I don't take all the blame. I wonder if she ever did decide to address her issues and get help. I think of her now and then and wish her well, even though I will never understand why she left.
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The only true peace I will ever have, is through living completely alone and mostly isolated. It's not a bad thing. It's not a negative thing. It's the least painful option of existence. Kinda logical.
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I wonder how many Autistics get Burnouts Shutdowns and just think they are being lazy or physically sick.
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The temperature will take a sudden dramatic turn from 60's to 80's tomorrow. Dress accordingly. 

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