It's like, my Burnout is a 20 pound brick. If I try to remove it via acupuncture, massage, reiki, supplements, it gets heavier, more solid and stubborn and states even more firmly "I am a brick, unmoving, unyielding. You must rest."
It boggles me that a physiological condition cannot be treated or helped or speeded up or removed.
Rest is the only answer.
It isn't that I don't want to go for a nice leisurely stroll at the park, it's that I physically cannot move that much or that far.
Any physical activity increase the weight and length and breadth of the Shutdown.
The only remedy, really, is prevention, closely monitoring all physical activities. It's like I have to "check in" with my body each morning to try and determine how many steps I will be able to take that day. What's in my fuel tank? How much energy is available to me. Then I have to prioritize the chores and activities.
The biggest, easiest, well it's actually the only indicator I can read, is do my feet hurt? And how far up my lower leg does it hurt? That pain is what tells me whether I should stay in bed or go for a walk. I have no other clear physical clue.
I cannot plan outings or activities, chores or hobbies to engage in each day. I merely have a "suggestion" list prioritized with the things I would like to do. There is no given, no surety.
I live each day on a whim, wondering how far my body can take me. I cannot make set plans. I do the best I can with what I've got.
I'm not lazy, depressed, physically ill or unmotivated.
I am Autistic.
Sometimes my body gets overwhelmed and shuts down.
Right now, I'm a 150 lb brick.
