I feel like a failure

Because my car battery blew up and left me stranded 10 miles out of town, in the middle of the road, on a bridge over dying water. The sound of the explosion as I turned the ignition on, was like a gunshot fired from a stray hunter's gun stopping me dead in my tracks. 

The cloud burst of tears. In panic and desperation breath, I called the emergency contact that I had trusted for over 25 years.

Hush, hush.

I feel like a failure because I had to ask for financial help with the 226$ tow bill and the 356$ repair that my monthly 900$ disability payment could not afford. Disability because I am and have been unable to work due to Multiple Personality Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Disorder from a childhood, teenhood spent surviving weekly incest and monthly bouts of being sold as a child prostitute to groups of men.

Owning a car seems like a luxury reserved for the able bodied, the unabused and those survivors stronger than I.

I feel like a failure because I had to ask people to sacrifice their hard earned incomes for the sorry likes of me.

What did I do to deserve this?

I feel bad that I am getting help. I'm grateful but I feel like a heel.

I'm sorry I'm not better equipped to live my life in a fulfilling manner.

Forgive me.

Sometimes I need help.