When going on vacation, away from home, it takes me quite awhile to get ready. I start at least a week before with internet surfing to try and find photos of the locations that I will be staying, the hotels, the surroundings, area sights and attractions and restaurants, most notably, if they have Wendys and Burger King nearby. I also tend to print out various maps so i can find my way around.
Then I start making list, upon list of what I need to bring from the everyday things like toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, all my daily needs. The next list is composed of those extra things that I take or use everyday or almost everyday, nail clippers, tissue, hand sanitizer,vitamins, various medications, motrin, benadryl, allergy meds and the like. Another list, I use to keep track of all the munchies and food items I need to bring with the homemade stuff needing to be made only a day or two before. Some I have to purchase at the store and others I take off the pantry shelf and put in one place so I can visually see what I already have. I always bring my own water for drinking and teeth brushing, so I have to figure out how much will be enough without having too much to carry. My pillow and blanket are another automatic "must bring".
I rely on previous trips and experiences to provide me with a good idea of what I really do need and what is simply unnecessary, so I continually go over those experiences in my head to help me decide what to bring.
The day before I leave, I can safely pack some clothing: two different pairs of jammies, one for if its cold and the other in case it is too warm, basically a short sleeve shirt and a long, one pair for each night. Socks and pants can also be packed.
Then...then we get to the challenging part....what to wear during the day. On this occasion, I am going to a conference and told it is "casual"..yeah, like I have any clue as what an NT means by "casual". Casual, at home and around town is sweatshirt and jeans..but what is "casual" at a conference? And spoken by an NT? Hmmm, that was a tough one.
Well, I had to figure what kind of mood I would be in. I didn't want to go with the flashy "notice me" bright and obnoxious shirts that I own, nor did I want to go with the humorous, teen-age, amusements that I wear to my sons school for popcorn day. You know, the Elmo shirt, SpongeBob and the Looney Tune ties and shirts would have to stay in the closet.
I really, really wanted my superhero tees because they simply make me feel better and a wee bit invincible and more self-confident, and those could be worn under my shirts. So I figured both Superman and the Clan of Supers could come along. And they did.
Next, the actual shirts...tough call there...I settled with one solid color that I knew would be acceptable in any situation and then two stripes, one pretty wild and one tame. (Geez, does it seem like I personify my clothes? More on that later)
But what if it was chilly in the banquet/ meeting rooms? Then what? So, it was time to pick and choose sweatshirts to go along. I didn't realize that I had gotten rid of a lot to the second-hand store lately and my supply is actually quite low. I figured the hoodie was out, too casual and it can get really warm if the room is high temp. That left a couple of solid colors and the rest had various slogans and sayings. Tough call. The solids were too plain and I had to find ones with slogans, locations that I was comfortable with. If it was a popular vacation spot, say, one of my "Niagara Falls" sweat shirts, that had the potential to attract people and they sometimes inquire and complete strangers will start talking to me about how they went there on vacation too. So I settled on a couple of ones that I was comfortable with...a red Canada and a dark blue Hard Rock Cafe.
Did I mention that it took me all morning to do this? Simply pick, choose and pack my clothing? And some things did need washing and drying and "ironing" which means throw it in the dryer with a wet washcloth.
Then shoes and coats were last on the list. I was all set to wear my leather boots up until the last minute when I figured they, also, would call too much attention to myself and may be inappropriate. So I decided to wear the merrells and bring my glow-in-the-dark vivid green brooks tennis shoes if I became comfortable enough, plus they really dd feel the bestest.
Anyway, so, finally an hour or two before departure time, I had my ensemble, second-guessing myself most the day and going back and recheck the closet for possible substitutions.
I ended up with one med-large suitcase, 3 shirts and a sport coat on hangers, one large garbage bag for blankie, pillow and shoes, a small case for all my toiletries (damn, I hate that word but can find no other) and my backpack, chock full of things I may need at a moments notice, pen, paper, snacks, water, MP3 and such. I was good to go.
So, we arrive at our destination and all 12-14 peoples in my group went out to dinner. During dinner time conversation, the subject of how long it took me to pack came up and I said how it had taken me the entire day to pack my clothes. (I was with a group of Special ed/ Autism Professionals and that was very clear...wait for it). And someone asked me how many changes of clothes I had brought (for a two-day event) and I said...Well, 5...maybe 8? And the looks on the faces of the peoples...priceless. They all maintained composure, no one rip-roared laughed but I could tell by the wide eyes and the sudden Stop, that what i had just said was highly unusual. I give my companions sooo much credit for not exhibiting facial expressions of aghast or "OMG, you have got to be kidding me" or outright laughter. Me, I honestly, did not know that what I had said was unusual in any way, shape or form.
It must have been the caliber of my companions...I was very impressed with their composure and how they handled the situation...seriously.
So, quite suddenly, I was aware that I was different than these NT's, but it was okay. I was not embarrassed in the least. So, I want to figure this out, so I ask my friend, to my right, "Well, how long did it take you to pack?" And she replies, "thirty minutes."
Now, it was my turn to be aghast. I think my jaw probably dropped because I had a hard time believing this.
I questioned further with.."So, you just pick clothes out of the closet and throw them in?"
"Yup"
I went on to explain how, previously, I had packed one set of clothes for each day I was to be gone and on the last couple of days I was left with two choices, neither of which felt right or that I was comfortable with. And I was soooo uncomfortable that I learned to pack extra.
Obviously, NT's do not have the same relationship with their clothing as this aspie does.
Later on, I remarked how NT's are born with enough skin and that I was not and my clothing was like my protect layer, my outer skin. I express myself and protect myself by my clothing and each piece has some meaning or "feel" to it.
Funny, I relayed this story to my Aspie son and he chuckled in agreement. "Yeah, they just don't get it."
It is odd, how NT's put most of their energy into relationships and socialization with other peoples but this Aspie, anyway, puts an equal amount of energy into inanimate objects, such as clothing, music, knowledge in order to try and feel some degree of comfort, safety and protection.
You have to wonder....
