Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Monday, September 22, 2014

Surviving the Hell of PTSD, DID

It's simple really. A Survivor gets a choice. You either live with the chaotic hell of PTSD or you get yourself good and ready and walk back into the firestorm that caused the disease. It's like, to heal from the burn scar, you have to throw yourself back into the fire.
I have come to point, after many years and much deliberation combined with oodles of therapy, whereby I can identify my triggers, the words that cause a block or panic, a single flashback or memory....and I willingly grab it and hold on tightly as it wiggles, squirms and bites.
I don't take the easy road. Wasn't built to put up the sail and float. No, I am a fighter in a ring of my past, my pain and I reach into the stands to assail my latest opponent, flinging it into the ring.
There are times were there is no choice. And there is a time where you can stand up and open your eyes and not deny what you see or wish it away or shove it in the back closet. You look that fucking fear straight in the eye and you call it by name. You take ahold of that memory that for years had ahold of you. Awareness and courage are thy names. The fighters, the ones who refuse to give up, will be the victors.
You can't wave a white flag and expect to win. You must find your strength. You know, that same strength and tenacity that helped you live through that trauma the first time. And you tell your story. You speak of it, dissect it, play it out loud, feel it, experience and relive it over and over and over again until it loses it's power. For fear grows greatest in dark, hidden places.
The only way over is through it.
You are strong enough. You can do it. It's unpleasant, painful and putrid....but there is only one cure.
The choice is always yours. Some people do not pursue the antidote. Some aren't strong enough, just yet.
Healing is possible.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Living with Aspergers, Turning Corners

Friday, September 19, 2014

So, this Aspie walks into the Beauty Salon

Today was my first venture, ever, into getting my hair dyed. I wanted to start off slowly, to see if my very sensitive system could tolerate the dye. The hairdresser colored just one small section, the right front. It's a dark black. Hardly noticeable, really.
 I did really well throughout the procedure, allowing someone to touch, foil wrap and brush goop on. Sitting under the hair dryer was brand new, also. I never panicked or freaked out once!
 I really, really like how it looks. I'd love to get the entire head done but I'm not sure.
The feeling is uncomfortable, like when I try and put on make-up. My face and eye on that side are...funky, not itchy but irritable. I'm not sure it's possible or plausible to get it done again. Sigh.
This sensitive Aspie life.
To top everything off, I live with three family members. Double Sigh. Not one of them even noticed my hair. Sometimes it's best to live alone, then you know no one will notice.
 I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of me!