Monday, March 18, 2024

Doing New Things, What's a Potluck?

So, I went to my first potluck in many moons. To comprehend this issue correctly let's define it. What exactly is the definition of "potluck"? What is it? Yeah, I'm Aspie. I ask myself these things.
Webster says: Potluck- used in reference to a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable. I actually did not know that. I erroneously attributed it to a pilfering of the word "potlatch" from Native American culture. I must have been an airheaded teen when I first heard the term "potluck" around the same time I was learning about the "potlatch" ceremony. My bad. Two completely different things.
Potluck is referring to a not-too-serious gamble of whether or not something there will be food that is good or not. Something I might like or might not like.
A potluck is when a group of people get together and each one brings a dish with many portions, to share. Since I did not know what to bring, I asked my friend. She said my pumpkin muffins were good. And I asked if that was enough or should I bring something additional to share. A muffin seemed like a small offering. She assured me that just the muffins would be fine.
I knew that I probably would not eat a single strange, foreign, mysterious food item that I had not cooked myself, so I was glad I really enjoy my muffins and that they were my chosen item.
The only way that I could attend this event involved a lot of forethought and work. My friend actually volunteered one time when we were hanging out. I had mentioned this group and that I was too nervous to attend events that intruiged me. She volunteered! I didn't even ask her or think to ask her! Okay. That put the idea of going to a group function on the table as a very new potential possibility. 
Next, because my friend was not a member of the group as I was, I had to figure out who and how to ask if I can bring a non member to this event. I put out a small request on the social media site asking a group administrator to please message me privately. I did not wish for my odd query to be public. The following day an administrator wrote back. I explained my situation. She needed to confer with others and would then notify me. Okay.
Then I got nervous and felt stupid. Stupid for asking such a dumb question. I heavily debated deleting my message question and just forget about the whole thing or waiting for the inevitable rejection.
The next morning I awoke to a most surprising response. Based on the fact that this administrator knew I was Autistic (I had mentioned it to her once) she conferred with the other administrator and they agreed that I was entitled or allowed to have a "support person" attend the event with me. Who knew?!!!
I was stunned that I was giving such consideration and respect. Yes, stunned. I was happy and bemused. 
A few days later, the actual potluck took place. I'm so thrilled and grateful for my friend as there is no way that I would have been able to attend this new event, in a strange location, amongst a dozen foreigners I'd only encountered online. 
I stuck close to my friend intensely for the first 30-40 minutes. Then I decided to start venturing out little bits here and there, sporadically engaging in short conversations. After a bit of that, I would return to the security of my anchor, beside my friend.
It really was nothing short of amazing all the amount of thought and effort and bravery that went into this grand new adventure!!
It really does take one single kind caring person to change my entire world.
I will attend more events with my friend until I am comfortable enough to be on my own.

No comments:

Post a Comment