Oh, it sounds so simply...tell your child to go and Clean Your Room..Unfortunately, unless you get specific, very specific, your Aspie child is going to have a really rough time.
From personal experience, I sorely remember being told to clean my room. Honestly, I did not understand what that meant. Yeah, I saw some stuff on the floor and I'd pick it up or hey, I can move those clothes but for an Aspie to clean a room effectively, it must be done very differently than our neurotypical (non-Aspie) brethren.
First, be specific and break it down. Sending a kid to clean your room is confusing and such a broad, undefined phrase and will probably get you nowhere.
With my eldest I start by saying, "bring down all your dirty clothes". Ok, task 1 accomplished. Then it proceeds, one at a time, hang up your clean clothes, pick the toys off the floor, pick the papers off the floor and put them in this container, then we can actually move on to vacuuming.
One task at a time...Be Very Specific....Demonstrate if needed (as with how to use a vacuum...it took a number of demonstrations for him to feel comfortable)..and offer a little help if needed.
Oh the drama of trying to get him to pick up. I ended up breaking things down further by having him pick up only certain items like just Pokemon cards or only magazines. Now things do actually get done.
After a number of times doing this, anywhere from a couple dozen to a couple hundred, depending on the child, he/ she will be able to clean their room with very little help.
Teaching new tasks...OMG, I decided to teach my son to mow the lawn on the riding lawnmower. I did not realize that this was a whole day task. Looking back, I must laugh at My ignorance.
First off, we, my partner had to help because my patience was running thin that day...we tried for about an hour to get him to actually sit upon the machine, (Old Blue, I have named my green craftsman rider).
Next, we showed him how to turn it on and he just sat, stoic and watched.
Then we explained how to put it in first gear, steer and brake...and told him to get to mowing.
Oh what a sight...He sat on that loud, vibrating mower, arms crossed, the most evil of looks on his face and he sat and he sat refusing to move.
After about a half hour of this, I went out and explained the pattern he should go.
45 minutes later, I kid you not, I went back out and threatened him with taking away his gameboy/ DS/ whatever that little gameplayer is...and I went back inside.
10 or 15 minutes later, he decided to overcome his anxiety and actually get mowing. Boy, was he on unhappy camper. But he accomplished it!!!!
Every weekend thereafter, we asked him to mow the lawn. And every week I could see him becoming more and more comfortable until finally, he wouldn't throw a fit and would just fill the tank, start her up and take off. Whew!!
New tasks are very challenging for the Aspie, especially when they involve loud noise and unfamiliarity.
Myself, I actually didn't start using Old Blue until about 5 years after we purchased it. I had the push mower and had figured out the steps, the pattern that I needed to follow to mow the lawn and I wasn't sure about that rider. But, like my son, I overcame my anxiety and figured out all the steps and now, my partner and I fight over who gets to mow the lawn. It really is pretty darn fun to zip around the yard and try and run over squirrels!
Be specific, Demonstrate and be available for questions, support and encouragement!!!
