The other thing I figured out when I was underground...yeah, sometimes i find some real gems...is that...one of the most important things is that you have to like yourself. Because if you don't like who you are and are not comfortable in your own skin...ain't nobody else going to do that for you and nothing else really matters.
We went to Meijers and I saw everyone else in a completely different light. Appearances really don't matter...sure, they are an outer reflection of what is inside...to some degree, but the outward appearance is not something to judge a person with. We all choose the clothes we wear and how we want to portray ourselves...everyone is in the costume of their own choosing. Who am I to judge who is the wiseman and who is the fool?
Each person is,like, this singular orb, spinning and weaving their life, their tales around themselves. And i don't know how often anyone really sees or cares about what is out side of themselves.
No longer did I see...everyone else as staring or looking at me and casting judgement. The paranoid anxiety-ridden delusion had melted away...and I just saw people..people wrapped up, spinning and creating their own experience.
If you can't find your own self-value...no one can do it for you.
The past doesn't matter so much in the retelling, its in the how we deal with the aftereffects...how we separate ourselves from all the opinions and feelings of others that have been hurled at us....when we find our self..and realize that we are all good..and what happened to us may have made us who we are but we don't have to carry it and wear it like a burden or a glove.
There are no victims, only volunteers (love you Lis)...what are you going to do about it? Get over, deal with it or don't...the choice is always ours.
Maybe that is why I am having such a hard time picking out what to wear each day...the clothes in the closet are not me..they are what I used to be
