Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dejection...sigh...it's always going to be a roller coaster

I guess it's always going to be like this..small intervals of calm and happiness in betwixt times of everyday, stress of an Aspie existence fighting amongst the nt world. That's a depressing thought. It's like I have been on the ideal summer vacation and school starts up next week.
I want to shut all the doors and windows in a feeble attempt to eliminate this struggling strife. Really, I had no idea my mood could shift so quickly and in the opposite direction. Now I'm just whining.
I keep having to tell myself, trying to convince me, that not wanting to go isn't being bad. I'm not resisting because I'm selfish, rude or mean spirited....I just really don't want to put myself through the unnerving stress of such a gauntlet. When you see the flood waters rising, do you not head for high ground? Damn, I struggle here. This is so suddenly so upsetting. To write about something, yet again brings to surface all that I have held submerged, and held under foot, pushing it deep into the sand, denying it was there.
I stand with fists clenched together, gritting teeth.
I don't even leave for a week but I've already cut my feet on this razors edge.
IDK
Somehow have to find a way back away from this edge, back to a more comfortable spot, plateau. I have been in this position, prepping to go to places I dread, before. Didn't like it then, surely don't like it now.
Whine, whine and more whine. Yup, feeling sorry for myself. Trying to figure it all out. Venting frustration. Writing about that which I dare not say too loudly or at all. Invalidating my self, again. My thoughts and feelings Do matter, but so do those of peoples I care for.
No win, no win, no way

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