Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Learning to accept a kindness

I don't know if accepting and receiving a kindness, hand up or love comes naturally or not. Logic tells me that it is probably a necessary survival skill. But I heartily refused. I really haven't known how to accept and receive. See, in my dysfunctional family, and maybe with my autism, I learned that a kindness, in word or deed, was nothing more than an open and holding a small sharp knife.
If someone was nice to me, they wanted something. If there was a compliment, well, they only said that because they wanted one back or it was said to trick me. I had not a lot of trust or faith in those people's around me. I'm not being paranoid as I had ample examples and dozens of experiences to prove my distrust.
Hmm, so I never learned or found the mechanism that says, " I am being nice to you because you are a nice person, and I like you". I rarely found anyone genuine, who wanted to give to me, that didn't want something back. Scoundrels!
Now, in my forties, I am trying to learn this new thingy called accepting and receiving. Methinks my soul tells me that I was born into a world aflush with an abundance of love, kindness, energy and prosperity.
Hard to silence the mistrust, the experiences, the sinisters I mingles with for so long. It's difficult to change that visual of the open and concealing a weapon. Changing this old, deeply ingrained thought pattern is quite the challenge, I kid you not.
I believe life actually has some positives that it freely gives. I will e exploring this further.