Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I Have No Concept of Time or Age

I truly have little concept of time and age. Supposedly, I turn 50 this year, but the number means nothing to me. I guess it has significance to others, but I fail to understand why. It's just a number floating by.
During the day, I understand 7am, 7:45 and 3:30 as these are times I need to be awake, taking my son to school and waiting for the bus. The remainder of the day, time has no meaning.
 Maybe it's because I do not work, have a schedule of events or the need to pay attention to clocks, that my sense of time has all but vanished. Something has to have "meaning", Aspie logical meaning, for it to get a place in my memory banks.


Days come, days go, no matter.
I have there for 50 minutes. I have a pseudo inner timer that starts ticking when I walk in the door. So for most therapy sessions, I can self-regulate and be aware of time without looking at a clock. When I visit my son in prison, especially when we are heartily engaged in conversation, I am time clueless.
My body starts telling me when it's time to leave the crowded room. I get fidgety, my conversation skills start falling apart and I awkward pause more, in addition to being awfully tempted to just gaze  out the barred window....basically, I start drifting away till I can't take it any more.
If I go to the grocery store, it doesn't occur to me if I've been gone awhile or a little.
I don't know...time is a mystery to me...mostly I just don't get it.

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