I am completely incapable of doing or thinking more than one thing at a time. If I'm eating, don't talk to me. If you want me to finish cooking dinner, don't walk in the kitchen. If I'm driving, no conversing in traffic please.
I cannot be both an Aspie and an abuse Survivor, at the same time. Even though I always and forever will Amy the Autistic Incest Survivor, I can only grasp one identity at a time. It's like I'm in a boxing ring with only two corners...one says Aspie and the other Abuse. I can only be in one corner at a time.
For months, I have been in the Abuse corner. It's time for a break. I'm going to try and straddle the center of the ring.
Because I'm in here...somewhere.....underneath the heaps of scars and memories. I'm really here alongside my quirky and eccentric autistic twitching oddities.
Somewhere....in this ring....in this middle...I'm just plain me.
I've been standing in the corners so long....I have completely forgotten who I am.
Time for some "Conscious Amnesia". I'm not going to be either an Aspie, or a Survivor for a spell....at least until I can find myself.