Raising YoungLink

I realized a number of things about my 12 year old son, YL. I understand why he has so many difficulties. Maybe the reason he needs to be first playing a game, is that no one has ever put him first in real life. The world, or at least one loving adult, needs to devote and revolve around meeting a child's needs so the child has a chance to build a solid foundation. YL has not had that.
Having two kids, I chose to take care of the squeakiest wheel, the one crying loudest but that left YL unfulfilled and quite lacking in love, affection and the attention he needed. My bad.
I noticed a number of things on our four day, cross-country drive:
1) YL seems surprised when I'm willing to listen to him, make eye contact and engage in discussions.
2) I feel that he has only gotten attention by being yelled at. He really likes soft talk. I think we were so quick to point out when he was getting in our way, interrupting game, TV show or bothering us when we were tired....he thrives on kindness and being the center of attention and being spoken to with respect.
I didn't realize what a terrible job I was doing...I may never have realized if I hadn't left...this move will give YL the opportunities he never had and couldn't get in Michigan...a single parent revolving, supporting, loving and paying attention to him.
I'm not sure I'm saying all this right...it's such a huge issue with multiple facets. I know...that I'm going to make up for his years of neglect....I am devoted to making up for my mistakes. YL Finally Takes Center Stage!!!!