Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Monday, January 10, 2011

Being Alone...Feeling Lonely...

I don't know what it is about the past few days...but I have been caught in quite a personal dilemma. I want to be alone and i shudder at the thought of going out and running into people. I would enjoy going to the gym, I crave a workout, but the mere thought of running into anyone, known or unknown, squashes that possibility.
Its like I want to be alone...but with someone else. I have thoughts to share but I don't want to put out the effort. I feel alone in and amongst myself yet part of me desires human contact.
It seems like I am in a place where I just can't win either way I go.

And there are some things that I really wish I had an answer to... Why is it so damn hard to ask for anything? And why does rejection, saying "no" hurt so bad? It's not like I am a little kid and I can't have cookies fro the cookie jar but the fear of rejection does tend to keep me from asking questions.
Maybe its the whole "oversensitivity" thingy...I don't know.

Seasonal Affective Disorder....It does seem like my sensitivity level does go up and down and I realize that right now it is at a high point. Its really best for me to stay in and work on getting some better shielding in place. So, I guess I will settle for feeling somewhat lonely instead of being easily overwhelmed and unnecessarily hurt by well-meaning or average remarks.
It seems easier to feel alone and slightly lost when the ground and everything is so bare, raw and exposed.