Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Morality Police...Honor Codes and the Tattle-Tale Aspie


I'm not going to beat around the bush...Aspies love to tattle and point fingers at evildoers. Driving with an Aspie one can be sure if the stated speed limit is exceeded there will be words.
Both my son and I consider our selves to have a code of honor which is probably higher than most. We believe in rules, laws and a certain high standard of everyday conduct. He has remarked, more than once, that his aberrant behavior of a year and a half ago, was more damaging to his psych and personal pride as he broke his own moral code, than the whole jail/ prison sentence thingy.
We like to attempt to hold others to our over zealous standards. I made an excellent safety in grade school. I loved "patrolling" and reporting the tiniest malfeasance. If anyone was cheating on a test, teacher could count on me to report this.
For a long time, in my teens and early twenties, looking back, it was completely out-of-control, overboard and highly unnecessary. Grade school tattling is pretty much accepted based on age and level of maturity, but when you hit twenty, it's time to sit down and have a very long talk with oneself. I am not the worlds morality police. My moral standards can be as high as I want but I am no judge or jury. Yes, if I see an innocent being harmed, I will do something about it and report it, but overall, I definitely have an overly zealous streak that needs containing.
I have learned what are little infractions and what are big ones...who am I kidding?....somewhat. I try and let the little things go and allow the driver of the car to decide her fate. As well as understanding it is up tio the teacher to ensure no cheating is done, not I.
I must say that I endure quite a bit of ridicule, rightly so, at more than one place of employment for my petty infraction reporting. Tattle tales are not held in high esteem and this whole wanting to get everyone to do the right thing, at my intense level is nothing but detrimental and should be analyzed, dealt with, talked about and abolished.
When Eldet was in school, he was also so thrilled to share his "report" on evil doers at least once a week. Now that he is 19, I sincerely hope he has gotten over that.
If I have questions or am stymied as to if such and such is a serious, reportable action, I have learned to ask at least one other trusted friend for their opinion. That seems to work for me these days.
And Why do we feel so very compelled to tattle? Because it screws up our sense of order and balance. Rules are to be taken seriously and protocol should be followed to the letter. One lawless individual causes us chaos. One person who gets away with something means all people can do as they please. Maybe, amongst this issue alone, we would dearly love all to adhere to our principles because it makes the outside world a safer, more predictable place. Really, we just want safety and security.
Aspie kids...yeah, they really can't help it, but definitely address the issue.
And for goodness sake, drive the speed limit, use your turn signal at fifty feet and make complete stops at stop signs! Geez

3 comments:

  1. Hi Amy! I am one of the editors at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism, and we would like to republish this post. Would you email me at lizditz@gmail.com for details?

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  2. Certainly Liz! I have sent you an email:)

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  3. I came across this, reblogged on Tumblr, and had to comment to tell you that you're 100% correct. Especially in the conclusion that you come to in all of it. I was fired from a really good job, partly because I followed the rules to a T and they did not... and it really upset me. But they knew about my AS. And every time I was called in to "talk about things" I explained myself. I knew this was why. I knew it was because I needed the rules to be able to stay confident and do my job well, and that everyone else not following them stressed me out. While in some situations a person should probably learn to relax about it a little bit, my point always was that it was a medical facility - NO ONE should be not following the rules! But I was fired anyway. Because I "just didn't fit in".

    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has come to this conclusion, about rules, and their importance to someone with Aspergers.

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