I can't feel love in everyday life. The only time I've ever felt it has been in dreams. Dreams where someone is deeply, honestly in love with me. I know what it feels like and that I'm capable of feeling it...it's just never been safe.
In my dreams, my love is always a somewhat abstract stranger, sometimes male, sometimes female. Gender doesn't seem to matter, the same as in my waking life.
I'm grateful to have not been able to feel it these past years...lol, I take that back as I was with someone who was completely unable, incapable of giving any because they were empty. So maybe it is entirely possible that I will feel love in a relationship if it's with the right person.
I'm still pretty bitter and enraged at the previous cruelty. It's left quite a wound but I'm no stranger to oozing blood now, am I?
It's time to make better choices. I continue to see one woman and have a new one to meet this coming week. Looking for friends and kindred souls. I enjoy dating these days.
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