Friday, July 6, 2012

Too much time awake

Methinks too much with mind awake and body tired.
Strange, dark and gloomy feelings in the midst. It took me a few moments to realize that it is my old and cherished friend, loneliness.
Loneliness: the want of another; wanting someone who likes you to be near, to converse with, to share with...hoping it will be awhile before they get really irritating and you have to send them off.
Damn, hadn't communed with loneliness...for awhile.
Just realized that I have had one outside conversation that week. It also dawned on me that no one has called. No hounds of love or like looking for me....again.
Guess summer is a busy time...peoples want to spend it with family.
So if you don't have family, you are kinda screwed. If you don't rake high up on that ladder of priority And tell me...how many friends can rate anywhere...even close..to beloved family?
Is it so much to be wanted?
I don't think I was ever wanted
Came into this world, arms outstretched....no one on that receiving end. There was no one there. Guess I have a little predisposition to loneliness, feeling lost and unwanted. Sigh
Not sure how to fix that one
What kind of rug or lumber can you buy to cover up That hole.
How do you make peoples care about you?
How do you get thems to want to be around you?
Seems a lifelong problem I haven't figured out yet
I have never felt wanted...unless someone wanted to use me
Few value my company
Very, very, very few

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