Those times, wall encounters, when I remember I have Aspergers and need help or am unable to function "normally", are frustrating. As I stand affixed to the ground, transfixed on some far way vanishing point, I remember that I am different.
I've been doing a helluva lot of passing for normal these days. Sometimes I have to work at it, other times it's a natural flow for me. As my fears and phobias have shrunk from large, looming monsters into small, muffled barking dogs, Life has become less tense....at times I may even call it "easier" and more manageable.
Then this wall appeared, out of nowhere. Hmmm, struck mute, yet again. Seems I've come across a situation that....that is emotionally painful to the point of all-stop. I am at a loss to describe it. I have no words for it. When I attempt to think about it, my mind goes blank and carries me away...like to that cherry blossom tree, over there.
I cannot address or fix, what I cannot think about or say. This Is Autistic Behavior. I'm not trying to be rude or bad, difficult or cryptic. It is a sticky place, a stuck point.
I cannot even begin to fathom how to move beyond this wall. So, like the good Aspie that I am, I turn around and find another road to travel.
It's just me. I'm okay