All I knew was abuse...part 2

One of the points I was trying to make....I don't have "normal" childhood memories of before my abuse started because it was always there. My childhood didn't divide into "before the abuse" and "after" because pain was always and consistently happening throughout my earliest recollections.
I don't know what a happy or normal childhood memory is. It boggles me and I have no point of reference. I can't understand what I haven't experienced. I'm seeing more and more, how brutal and cruel my upbringing was. No, I have no happy memories. Abuse and misery were my constant childhood companions. It was all I knew.