Last week, when I finally released the 45 year old memory of my dad torturing my bunny, I ripped off the heavy duty, steel tipped bandaid that had been holding in all the unspoken, unexpressed terror of that incident into my waking, walking life. Since then, I have been not so subtly releasing all the deep seated fear and terror that I had surpressed. That is why I am awash in tears and terror.
I guess it is some kind of healing crisis, progress to free myself from such intense emotion. It doesn't feel good but I understand it now.
At some point the tears and fears will have completely drained and I'm sure to experience life in a majorly different fashion .
I feel like shit, wasted, messed up but I think I'm going to be okay.
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