No One Asks to Become Multiple It is my belief that MPD is one of a very scant number of mental illnesses that is created by intentionally inflicting severe, interpersonal harm onto a helpless, completely innocent human being. I wasn't born Multiple. While I may have been born with a predisposition to dissociate, my Multiplicity was created by my biological father's immense capacity for cruelty. I did not ask for this. There is no accurate information available that states how many Multiples there are. Based on childhood sexual abuse statistics, there are at least 3 million of us in the US alone. Most Multiples live hidden, deeply secretive lives pretending to be normal whilst an inner struggle battles, tooth and nail, every day. Many Multiples live with their perpetrators, their parents or close family members, the people that hurt, abuse and molest them. The close family friends that stop over for coffee or sleep over on weekends, the aunts and uncles that are in charge of babysitting them. See, a Multiple isn't severely molested or beaten just once. To qualify, to "come down with" Multiplicity, the MPD individual had to have been egregiously injured more than once, often more than dozens of times. In my case, TRIGGER WARNING TALK OF SEXUAL ABUSE I was raped 3-5 times a week, living under the roof of my parent's house. MPD occurs when the child has no supportive caregiver. My mother knew full well what my father was doing. MPD means their is neglect and Co-perpetrators. Multiplicity does not occur in isolation. There are Co-perpetrators, family members and close friends that intentionally look the other way. It means a child has no safe adult to turn to for stability, care and comfort. The abuse has to start in a child whose brain is still in the highly developmental stage, before 5 years old. When I was diagnosed, conventional wisdom was that the abuse had to begin under the age of 3. Later, I read it had changed to under 5, then, later still, the abuse had to begin before 9 years of age. Pick your number. Any childhood sexual abuse is an egregious, heinous act whether the child is 3 or 10. My abuse started at or before 11 months. Knowing my father as well as I do, I find it difficult to believe that he could wait until I was 11 months old before he began sexually molesting me. I'm sure he most certainly did not wait that long, it's just that that age is my first clear memory of abuse. A perpetrator rarely has just one victim. It just goes against their very nature that molesting one child could satisfy all their sick, sadistic sexual needs. My father molested at least 7 other children that I witnessed, that I personally saw take place. Frequently, if not always, perpetrators are childhood sexual abuse survivors themselves. 1 out of 3 children who are sexually abuse grow up to sexually abuse children. 1 in 3 Childhood Sexual Abuse, CSA, survivors are at risk of offending. A paltry 1 in 3 grow up and do not molest. Think about that. Hurt people hurt people. My father assuaged some of his hurt and rage by assaulting me. If we can slow the child sexual abuse, incest epidemic, and get quick and appropriate psychological treatment for those kids, we can put a dent in this ongoing crisis. But we have to be willing to talk about this most disturbing and uncomfortable subject. We have to be willing to admit what happened to us, get treatment so we can heal, grow strong and find our voice. Then, and only then, can our sufferings have not been in vain. Once we heal ourselves, we can help others, those children currently in great pain and other adult victims burdened by unwarranted guilt, shame and great pain. Multiplicity is created. That means it can also be stopped.
