Currently in Autistic Shutdown
A few days ago, I had a traumatic experience behind the wheel of my car. Once safe I had a meltdown. After 20 or 30 minutes I realized I had a blackout again. I can't remember what happened after I got out of my car until I was walking down the street hearing myself screaming, cursing at the top of my lungs. It took a few more minutes for me to regain control of myself. I'm still unclear whether or not my blackout is due to my Autism or my Dissociative Disorder.
Needless, either way, I've been shutting down since then. I'm very tired. I can't really think. And my functioning level is "barely". Everything is Shutdown.
If someone asked me what they could do to help, if I had the strength to speak, I'd say nothing. There is nothing that changes the trajectory of a shutdown. I just have to ride this out. Wait for my body to neutralize all the stress hormones. Get as much rest and sleep as possible and DALAP, do as little as possible. That's the quickest way back to the real world.
I don't like it. My life suddenly stopping like this and not knowing when I be up and running again. It is what it is. I can't change it.
A few days ago, I had a traumatic experience behind the wheel of my car. Once safe I had a meltdown. After 20 or 30 minutes I realized I had a blackout again. I can't remember what happened after I got out of my car until I was walking down the street hearing myself screaming, cursing at the top of my lungs. It took a few more minutes for me to regain control of myself. I'm still unclear whether or not my blackout is due to my Autism or my Dissociative Disorder.
Needless, either way, I've been shutting down since then. I'm very tired. I can't really think. And my functioning level is "barely". Everything is Shutdown.
If someone asked me what they could do to help, if I had the strength to speak, I'd say nothing. There is nothing that changes the trajectory of a shutdown. I just have to ride this out. Wait for my body to neutralize all the stress hormones. Get as much rest and sleep as possible and DALAP, do as little as possible. That's the quickest way back to the real world.
I don't like it. My life suddenly stopping like this and not knowing when I be up and running again. It is what it is. I can't change it.
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