Prepare to enter the wild and wooly world of an adult with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by intellignce, quirks, social difficulties and downright strange and oddish behaviours.

People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.

Oversensitivity to touch (clothing has to be soft and often the tags removed), light (do not leave home without the sunglasses), sound (loud noises and noisey places are avoided), taste (many Aspies have quite a limited diet and are frequently very picky eaters) and smells makes the everyday existence more of a challenge.

Fasten your seatbelts and come on in...
To find out more about what Aspergers is..please check out my earliest blog entries

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Her Heart

Had grown empty, sorrowful, wanting and hid away. From fertile field to fallow, no man's land. The easiest way to trick, turn and manipulate was the love sickly promise.
Everyone should be born with someone to catch them. To hold, cradle, nurture and adore. When that seemingly natural mission is lacking...well, the world becomes an unwelcoming, shaky and shifting place with no viable sense of stability. It's akin to a chop block where your legs get knocked out from under you as you helpless claw at the floor unable to stand, find footing or a hand to help you up.
I repeated my childhood patterns and chose a partner who was cold, distant, unemotional, unavailable, narcissistic, vile and disgusting, exactly the way the mother was. Funny, the ex even had the nickname Mother but for reasons of shame? embarrassment? Never told me that this was her nickname every single day that she went to work. Even denied it to my face with cold, dead eyes. A true lier as was my other mother.
It's no coincidence that patterns repeat until we learn from them.
I'm tired. This battle rages on with little respite. Having to defend myself from the selfish, disgusting one who misses the reins of control she once had over me. I pity those who fail to see the needless hurt they cause others. It's like running over a cat, over and over and over and not realizing what you are doing. Then one day you wake up...and see the mess, the pain and distress you caused....
I don't know...it just seems so odd, bizarre and inhumane that people consciously hurt and injure others.
I will never understand. ..but I'm learning what evil looks like so I can avoid it's unpleasant effects yet again .

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