Except for a brief stint, I have always been someone else's chattel. Through little fault of my owner, as I have always assumed my role was to be at someone's disposal, beck and call, to do whatever whim and whimsy was required. I was trained by the best that I was nothing but a non-thinking, non being whose only job was to try and often fail dismally, to make someone else happy, to be a puzzle piece that could bend and contort and take up a small, non-descript minor place in another's life.
I've always presented myself as such so I can't fault my previous handlers. I gave up being someone worthy of equality, respect and dignity..well, since as long as I can remember. I was taught I was nothing more so I practiced and took my teachings to heart. I was an excellent student with unrelenting teachers. It's the reason why I'm so shocked when someone looks at me, listens and hears me. It's the reason I'm not surprised I've always been cast as a downtrodden serf.
It's time to learn some new, healthy lessons. It's about time I recognize those that take full advantage of my low self view and avoid them with a keen eye. I've had just a couple people treat me as I should be treated. T and L I just love you for who you are. You restored my faith in myself, humanity and helped me see how very, very wrong I was allowing myself to be treated. I am so grateful!!! I'm continuing to learn about the value in myself and the people I need to avoid. T and L, I hope I find others like you!!! Thank you
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