Why am I here?
I think, for most, that the goal is external; going to college, paper degrees, working, promotions, financial gains, and accolades.
My locus is internal; surviving, reexamining the neglect and infractions inflicted when I was completely helpless and total dependent on two hapless, hopelessly sick and twisted individuals, dealing with the repercussions of being shattered and relentlessly tortured.
Ouch, childhood leaves a mark no matter how it played out.
To you that had good growing ups, kudos. To you that got over a few rough patches, I commend thee. To those, like me, who are walking wounded and constantly applying fresh bandaids to festering wounds, I applaud you.
We each come into this life with a task, a goal or objective. I know mine, now. It isn't pretty but neither is it embarrassing or to be feared.
My job is to heal using all the tools I can find; therapy, dreamwork, acupuncture, energy work, writing and arting.
My job is to live everyday knowing and feeling beaten and tortured without becoming a bitter, angry soul seeking vengeance.
Most of my work is internal. Then there is blogging, writing and, maybe someday, speaking out in public about the horrid things some people do to children and how to heal from it.
Find out what your life task is...then do it.
I get it.
My life isn't a bad thing...it's just my life.
