Questions No One Can Answer or Help Me With

 As I stare out the locked, sealed window at the sun trying to set in the apocalyptic sky where the leaves hang listless and suffocating amidst the heavy yellow choking haze of smokesmog, I have fallen out of my weeklong emotional slow burn of a meltdown enough to get back to the starting line, my daily angst and saga of questions unanswerable (otherwise known as, what most people automatically know but Aspie Amy is clueless).

I do not know how I should be spending the hours of my days. How much time should I devote for maintenance and chores? How many hours should I spend engaged in reading books and magazines? How long should I watch a television movie or show? Walking is out of the question for today which leaves me one less query since one must be able to breath the air in order to walk. Should I play a video game? Online scroll? Write? Cook? Work on Project A or Project B or Project C? I don't know how or what should be prioritized. I don't know what to do. And no one can help with that.

I bought fruit to dehydrate yesterday. I'm not sure how often I should be buying fruit due to my budget. It's kindof like coffee in that I'll go buy some if I have the cash on hand but that doesn't really work well especially when I only get my disability check once a month. It's as if I live "high on the hog", an opulent lifestyle with red meat, fruit, coffee and dessert those first couple of monthly weeks and then things take a dastardly, poverty ridden turn. How much should I be budgeting for each week? 

It is a conundrum for which I have no solution.

Odd thought of the day (of course there are usually many but I shall limit myself to just a one): 

Do you remember when we were worried, back in the 80's and 90's about how much violence children were exposed to from television and movies? Parents, well, select parents seemed to care and try and limit children's exposure. Yeah, it turns out watching violence really has no effect and does not cause violence to be more tolerated and increase in society. Sarcasm. Yeah, no one cares about that anymore. And, we as a society, well we just grow more and more violent unchecked and unconcerned.

Happy thought of the day because I refuse to end this post on that sour note: I've been having fun creating holiday cards for the craft show in December.