Fear of Being Alone, Monophobia, Isolophobia, Agoraphobia

As long as I can remember, I have been afraid to be by myself. whether it be in my own home, on the road, or at a different location.
So I searched the internet and found this on Answers.com: What phobia is the fear of being alone?
Answer: The phobia related to the extreme fear of being alone is known as Isolophobia, Autophobia or Monophobia.
The phobia can manifest itself in several different ways. Some people experience a constant fear of being alone. These individuals feel that hey must consistently be in the company of others. In this form, the phobia can have a huge impact on the individuals quality of life and may require years of therapy. Other people only experience the extreme fear of being alone when triggered by some sort of stimuli. This stimulus may be related to a traumatic event in their past that has been linked in the mind to being alone. In a way, it is a defense mechanism. That fear is created to avoid ever finding yourself in a similar situation to that which caused so much suffering in the past.
Monophobia- is an acute fear of being alone and having to cope without a specific person, or perhaps any person, in close proximity.
Monophobia is often seen as part of the agoraphobic cluster. "Fear of fear" (fear of a panic attack) seems to be a component of the agoraphobia but there are many other factors that lead to the avoidance central to the disorder and not all agoraphobics experience panic attacks. People with agoraphobia often suffer from a "cluster" of phobias,as mentioned and Monophobia may be one. Generally agoraphobics find it very difficult or impossible to carry out certain activities. These could be going into crowded or public places, lifts, public transport or simply anywhere away from home where "escape" or immediate access to help is not possible. They will also fear standing in queues, going on bridges or sitting in any place where they feel "trapped", such as at a hairdressers or dentists. A companion is often sought and rapidly becomes essential. There can also be additional fears, predominantly "social" ones such as fear of blushing, trembling, talking, eating or writing in front of people and of being stared at. (Okay, they have me to a T on all counts here :)
It can be seen from this that agoraphobia tends to reduce self-confidence and the belief that activities can be carried out alone. It can be a short step from here to a belief that being alone at all is not safe. A person suffering from panic disorder might also believe that he/ she will die or collapse or do something terrible when panic strikes and this too might make having a trustworthy person present seem as if it is essential, so leading to monophobia. Some people with social difficulties might also believe that a trustworthy companion is vital before they enter social situations.
Some monophobic people who have few typical agoraphobic or social symptoms, retaining the ability to function in virtually any situation as long as they have somebody with them at all times. In fact the "pure" monophobic may be indistinguishable from the general population, perhaps even more outgoing that most, when accompanied by a trusted companion.
Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that the monophobic persons feeling of being unsafe, is probably the main focus. This has been seen to occur out of severe self-doubt.
As with any anxiety disorder, monophobics cannot be talked or bullied out of their problem. The anxiety is not trying to cause them harm, it is mistakenly trying to help them, wrongly, that they are in terrible danger when alone. This anxiety does not have a lot of sense, it is operating on the intellectual level of a young child rather than an adult and the way to prove to it that being alone is not dangerous is by experiencing the fact, not talking about it, as with a child. This means working out a structured recovery program where the person is left alone for gradually increasing periods. Medication may be needed.

Well, thats what was written. And I can agree with the vast majority of it.
Next post...I will deal..I will go there

Feeling Safe...Aspergers, Autism

I have noticed that I have been using the word "safe" quite a lot in some previous posts. So, since I "go literal" and mean exactly what the dictionary says, and since Most Nts have individualized and highly subjective dictionaries of their own that they use...allow me to explain myself....

Safe: free from danger, damage, harm

(and why is it such a big deal for me?)
I feel safe at my home. I feel safe in my own yard, but venture outside of that perimeter, well, anything can happen and safe level drops considerably.I feel safe in my own home, but only when someone else/ another family member is home with me. (a separate issue that I am working on). I feel relatively safe within my own vehicle. This last week, I felt safe in a strange, foreign environment, to a large degree for hours on end. The latter would be a big first for me.
I feel somewhat safe at my sons school, going for walks in my woods, going to the grocery stores and other local businesses...relatively, somewhat with the biggest unpredictability factor being people.
The more people that there are at any given location, the more likely it is that I will be unexpectedly accosted. (For the uninitiated the dictionary states accost: to approach and speak) I never know who will accost/ speak to me...people talking to me often, though, not necessarily always (I have a number of friends who speak to me and I welcome it and experience no fear) cause me to physically and mentally tense up, go on point, get defensive and basically, stress out. Its just the way it is. I feel that i have covered the whole people talking to me and why it is a stress in some recent, previous posts, so I will not rehash here.
New and strange locations are the biggest offenders as the variables are completely unknown and anything can happen at any moment. So, it surprised me that I felt so almost completely safe during my recent venture. And I really, really like feeling safe. Its nothing but a warm, comforting glow that engulfs and stabilizes. I think it is pretty cool that I get to periodically experience what most people feel on any given day.

One huge factor is the company I keep. Wherever I go with my Partner (and we have traveled quite a bit throughout the US) I experience a stronger level of safe than if I were alone. On my little tripy, I was with someone who I also deeply trusted. Environment..the company I keep is a very large indicator of how safe this Aspie will feel.
I realize now, that feeling safe is a given for most...and that my level of feeling that some people, new environments, different smells and unusual feels are dangerous is outside the normal scope.
I am aware that most NTs walk around wearing a degree of comfortability and that they don't worry that behind a closed door lurks anything other than the safe and familiar. I understand that when someone walks towards them they do not recoil or throw up defensive walls or start searching for the exit. And that every knock on the door is not an intruder, a threat, an accoster..it may just be someone handing out free cookies and milk. Who would have thought?
Its a strange and unpredictable place out there...but its not quite as dangerous and menacing as it was a couple of weeks ago...
Home is safe but once I step outside that door, past the end of my driveway, anything and everyone can happen and the entire ballgame changes. Call it social anxiety, agoraphobia, fear of peoples, general anxiety, whatever, its just the way it is

What About Bob? Movie Review, Bill Murray

Okay, if you like a good comedy and can laugh at your own phobias, and your a fan of the fabulous Bill Murray, check out the 1991 flick "What About Bob?"
Bob is a heavily neurotic being who latches on to psychiatrist Dr. Leo Marvin (and his family) played by Richard Dreyfus. Basically Bob think Dr. Leo can help him so he stalks him to his vacation home, gets acquainted and excepted by Dr. Leos wife and kids and loses most of his major phobias.
The first time I watched this movie, way back when, it was challenging because I suffered from many of the same phobias Bob does...agoraphobia, mysophobia (fear of germs, dirt, contamination),aquaphobia (fear of water or drowning), claustrophobia amongst others, so it was a rather sad state of affairs.
This past year I have had the opportunity to watch it again and liked it so much more. One of my favorite characters is "Gill" the goldfish that is Bobs constant travel companion and bestest friend.
I enjoy watching bob overcome his many challenges with just a little help from some kind, compassionate friends, especially Dr. Leos two teenagers who take Bob under their wing. Bob thrives...the phobias abate and it has a happy ending (my favorite) Check it out sometime.... :)