A Positive Aspie Day...this Is funny..Aspergers

A semi-typical Aspie day...
So,I went to the grocery store early this morning after dropping Younglink at school. Immediately, upon entering, I smelled intense cleaning fluid, like, Mr. Clean, is my guess. It was pretty darn strong but then, I noticed the floors. Wow, they were almost shiny and I had never seen them so clean before. So, this clean floor factor weighed heavily in my mind and thoughts.
I turn the corner at the bakery section and run into an acquaintance from Younglinks school..another parent who I do popcorn day with.
We exchanged the usual, mandatory pleasantries of "How are yous?"
And then I unceremoniously and with no censorship exclaimed, "Did you see how clean the floors are? OMG,they smell great, don't they?"
Okay, so she got just a mildly odd look on her face but didn't really skip a beat when she said, "Why, I hadn't noticed."
I am so glad I work with her at popcorn day, because she knows I am Aspie. She has never really seen me in my Rainman, blurt out whatever is on my mind mode. But she is a big girl and she dealt.
As I walked away I chuckled to myself. See, this is what happens when I agree to stop censoring myself. Whilst I become more comfortable with myself, my autism shows quite a bit more.
Its all pretty new for me..taking this risk of not being so self-restrained and dressing in muzzle and straitjacket every morning when my feet hit the floor.
I thought I would try this "freedom" thingy and be more comfortable with myself and my processes. I decided to step out more than I ever have. And, yes, I am taking it slowly, but it feels down right gratifying.

The other thing I did which was totally out-of-the-box and out of character...I went to a local public meeting, which was filmed and all. Before God, the camera and about 16 people, I stood up, heavily in the midst of a panic attack with my heart pounding out of my chest (you know, I have had them, panics, so very often, I should be quite used to them and the unsettling feeling, so I dealt) and stated my plea for "I voted" stickers. Because other districts hand them out, it promotes voting and dammit, give me my sticker!
I am not sure what exactly possessed me, but this seemed an inviting issue to tackle.
Did I mention I flew solo? That I went completely by myself and I was fine with that?
On the way to the meeting, I gave myself an out and said that I would simply attempt this and if I positively could not do it, than no harm done. But I Was going to attempt this!
And I gloriously and without a twitch, stood up, looked the board chairman in the eye and pleaded my case.
I guess I won't know till the next election if the stickers will start flowing or not..but I can sleep at night knowing I made my case known.
And yes, if stickers do start showing up on election day, well, I will get ALLLL the credit. I deserve it.
Yeah Baby!!!!

Having Aspergers..trying to figure it all out

Now that the endless replaying of the conversations from my three day enterprise have been somewhat dissipated by writing about them and getting them out of my head...things are a bit clearer.
I think I mindlessly or unconsciously play things over and over to understand and comprehend, figure out and pick out what is important and what needs to be remembered and partly, because sometimes they downright amuse me especially new and intriguing stuff.
So I wrote earlier in the day, did some mandatory outing and took a heavy-duty nap. Upon awakening, the conversation tapes had stopped and my latest song/ mantra could finally be heard clearly.
Wow, this past week...hmmm..I can see that it can easily be weeks if not months, before I partition, research and disseminate all the info I learned in a sparse three day event....I kid thee not.
I never felt overwhelmed at the event and I certainly do not now...I just see so very much.
The first and oft most challenging part about writing about Aspergers is figuring out what makes me different from NTS. And if you live within your own walls, if you venture outside of your own home maybe once or twice a day, sometimes...if you get together with a group of people for a social function, funeral, wedding, meeting, get together less than once every six months...One is a serious isolationist and it is really hard to see outside ones own skin.
I have found that words mean one thing to me, usually the literal, dictionary version, yet, these same identical words in the NT world, have ten different degrees of meaning. Thus when I say I lived alone, I mean truly A LONE....but others didn't get that...most people have independent and then group generalizations of a word..and its usually quite different than mine.
I'll have to slowly get into the emotional content that has been recently revealed, as some of it seems rather volcanic in nature.
The biggest and most prevalent emotion being one of anger, frustration and resentment. I am downright pissed off that I have been using all the right words in trying to express myself and no one was able to comprehend them. I have felt like such a fuck-up and an awesome village idiot for naught. More on that later.
And yes, I have a sense of humor and yes, I can lie and yes, I have great depth of caring and empathy and all those other pissy little, stupid-ass aspergian myths and generalizations that are paraded around as the only way to tell an aspie from a hole in the ground.
Okay...down boy, down, and I have decided to move off my little island and onto the mainland. Granted I actually do carry a ten foot stick that looks more like one of those lances carried by the knights in medieval times and it is pretty with its white color and red winding stripe and it is retractable and flexible but I do carry it because this is a new and wary place to be. Currently, I am pacing the perimeter watching for unfriendlies and establishing my new boundaries.
There is tons more stuff on the way as energy and time permit....take care
(Holy Shit, Batman, I found a jousting lance exactly as I pictured it...its those little things in life that delight me so)

What About Bob? Movie Review, Bill Murray

Okay, if you like a good comedy and can laugh at your own phobias, and your a fan of the fabulous Bill Murray, check out the 1991 flick "What About Bob?"
Bob is a heavily neurotic being who latches on to psychiatrist Dr. Leo Marvin (and his family) played by Richard Dreyfus. Basically Bob think Dr. Leo can help him so he stalks him to his vacation home, gets acquainted and excepted by Dr. Leos wife and kids and loses most of his major phobias.
The first time I watched this movie, way back when, it was challenging because I suffered from many of the same phobias Bob does...agoraphobia, mysophobia (fear of germs, dirt, contamination),aquaphobia (fear of water or drowning), claustrophobia amongst others, so it was a rather sad state of affairs.
This past year I have had the opportunity to watch it again and liked it so much more. One of my favorite characters is "Gill" the goldfish that is Bobs constant travel companion and bestest friend.
I enjoy watching bob overcome his many challenges with just a little help from some kind, compassionate friends, especially Dr. Leos two teenagers who take Bob under their wing. Bob thrives...the phobias abate and it has a happy ending (my favorite) Check it out sometime.... :)