The battle I have been fighting for over half a decade...is won. Managing to keep the soldiers in line and the borders fully guarded, the children fed and the women safe is done. The enemy at the gate is no longer there.
A new, unwritten chapter has begun, one in which I have choice and freewill. Two things that I am completely unfamiliar with. But I welcome these two strangers as I say goodbye to helplessness and old, entrenched patterns. No longer do I need to exert myself dragging weaponry up and down and back up that hill. No more do I fear the sight or smell of others as the perpetually attacking beast of my youth is now gone...and buried.
I do not belong to anyone but myself. There is no one above me, with hands on my neck or words that make me tremble in fear. I cannot express the sheer volume of weighted down baggage that I have finally shed...in one hour, just today.
Oh, I've had dozens of moments where my life has changed...most of them due to something disturbing or tragic...but this, this is nothing but good.
It was a long fought battle and I have fought well, valiantly and with great courage.
Time to recover for a spell, rest much and reconsolidate. I have but one main goal...to be happy and to learn to live my life without armor, without running and to rediscover who and what I am under these well-healed scars.
Tomorrow shall be a very new day.
I'm not who I was when I woke up this morning.
I appreciate that.
Bring on the morn
A new, unwritten chapter has begun, one in which I have choice and freewill. Two things that I am completely unfamiliar with. But I welcome these two strangers as I say goodbye to helplessness and old, entrenched patterns. No longer do I need to exert myself dragging weaponry up and down and back up that hill. No more do I fear the sight or smell of others as the perpetually attacking beast of my youth is now gone...and buried.
I do not belong to anyone but myself. There is no one above me, with hands on my neck or words that make me tremble in fear. I cannot express the sheer volume of weighted down baggage that I have finally shed...in one hour, just today.
Oh, I've had dozens of moments where my life has changed...most of them due to something disturbing or tragic...but this, this is nothing but good.
It was a long fought battle and I have fought well, valiantly and with great courage.
Time to recover for a spell, rest much and reconsolidate. I have but one main goal...to be happy and to learn to live my life without armor, without running and to rediscover who and what I am under these well-healed scars.
Tomorrow shall be a very new day.
I'm not who I was when I woke up this morning.
I appreciate that.
Bring on the morn
